Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: die in peacedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: scardnscared
    ASL Info:    25/ DFW
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 585/498/311
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 762
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 732



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdie in peacedots
    -------------------------------------------


    So long ago,
    my eyes they burned for you
    the tears were crystal blue.
    I guess its ok if you don't remember
    but to tell you the truth now.
    Its not.
    I gave up so much time for you
    watched you walk out of to many rooms.
    It wasn't fair, that I gave it all up
    just for something, that in the end
    turned into lust.
    For some its enough
    but for years I thought it was love
    and the lie is just to much.
    So take back everything
    and leave me with nothing.
    Cause these memories are bittersweet.
    Sorry I lied, their just bitter to me.
    Can you please steal or erase my memory
    so baby I can die in peace.




    Submitted on 2008-01-26 23:42:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Really good, my favorite is - gave up so much time for you
    watched you walk out of to many rooms.
    It wasn't fair, that I gave it all up
    just for something, that in the end
    turned into lust.
    For some its enough
    but for years I thought it was love-

    Really good write :)
    | Posted on 2011-01-25 00:00:00 | by Joybell | [ Reply to This ]
      do'nt have much to say but is was very good almost made me cry.
    | Posted on 2008-08-05 00:00:00 | by Kinthra | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, and it's somthing I can relate to. I wasted over two years waited for a guy that claimed to care about me, but in the end nothing really came of it. It's a pretty sucky situation but in the end it makes you stronger. I get what your saying in the poem, but I do agree that some parts of it need to be reviesed a bit.
    | Posted on 2008-01-28 00:00:00 | by fallen_angel90 | [ Reply to This ]
      that was flowing very nicely. i liked the words: 'take back everything and leave me with nothing.' really shows the seriosness of this situation. still think some sentences need to be revised i. e.the last three lines are not appropiate English. overall prognosis is good, keep writing!
    | Posted on 2008-01-27 00:00:00 | by Sannita | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156599

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry