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    dots Submission Name: die in peacedots

    Author: scardnscared
    ASL Info:    25/ DFW
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 585/498/311
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 762
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 732


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdie in peacedots

    So long ago,
    my eyes they burned for you
    the tears were crystal blue.
    I guess its ok if you don't remember
    but to tell you the truth now.
    Its not.
    I gave up so much time for you
    watched you walk out of to many rooms.
    It wasn't fair, that I gave it all up
    just for something, that in the end
    turned into lust.
    For some its enough
    but for years I thought it was love
    and the lie is just to much.
    So take back everything
    and leave me with nothing.
    Cause these memories are bittersweet.
    Sorry I lied, their just bitter to me.
    Can you please steal or erase my memory
    so baby I can die in peace.

    Submitted on 2008-01-26 23:42:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Really good, my favorite is - gave up so much time for you
    watched you walk out of to many rooms.
    It wasn't fair, that I gave it all up
    just for something, that in the end
    turned into lust.
    For some its enough
    but for years I thought it was love-

    Really good write :)
    | Posted on 2011-01-25 00:00:00 | by Joybell | [ Reply to This ]
      do'nt have much to say but is was very good almost made me cry.
    | Posted on 2008-08-05 00:00:00 | by Kinthra | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, and it's somthing I can relate to. I wasted over two years waited for a guy that claimed to care about me, but in the end nothing really came of it. It's a pretty sucky situation but in the end it makes you stronger. I get what your saying in the poem, but I do agree that some parts of it need to be reviesed a bit.
    | Posted on 2008-01-28 00:00:00 | by fallen_angel90 | [ Reply to This ]
      that was flowing very nicely. i liked the words: 'take back everything and leave me with nothing.' really shows the seriosness of this situation. still think some sentences need to be revised i. e.the last three lines are not appropiate English. overall prognosis is good, keep writing!
    | Posted on 2008-01-27 00:00:00 | by Sannita | [ Reply to This ]

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