Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the blue apples of your goddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 639
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1197



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe blue apples of your goddots
    -------------------------------------------


    dearest missing,
    in the moon where you are hidden
    there are creatures.
    they are folding
    in the fog,
    the blankets of your unrapture.

    sow me a star
    where all our pillars are.
    where the black islands
    current the palm of pyramids
    that hang in your eye.

    i've gazed around your neck
    in my sleep
    looking for the blue apples
    of your god.
    your golden saviour
    coddled me in the blistered park.

    i grieve a lonely road
    you once travelled.
    & i've seen your mistaken steps
    burned into the ground
    before me.
    there are many ways to weep
    in the weapon of heat
    & i am a furnace.

    blue goddess awaken,
    i am sleeping.
    i need the white gold
    of summer
    to dust my fruitful tongue.

    in my hands
    i disk a palm of halos
    towards the sun.
    i'm creaking
    slowly past your door.

    open
    & i will remember you.
    stay closed
    & i will brown,
    curl & upwards
    towards the sun...




    Submitted on 2008-01-27 04:54:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ACK!! beautious. the desperate climb before the desention. almost through the eyes of a plant. i am blinded by your imagry

    ~alice
    | Posted on 2008-02-10 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156606

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The World written by jjd
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry