Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lying Beside Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 658
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 964



    Description:
       I just thought it might be pretty...thinking about how it is to lie beside someone...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLying Beside Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lying here beside you, in your bed
    There's no place on earth I'd rather be
    Our fingers interlocked, I gaze into your eyes
    And you look straight into me

    Eyes closed, my fingers trace the outline
    Of a face more familiar than my own
    Every moment with you is an eternity
    But when I open my eyes, it's gone

    Limbs entertwined, it's all on the line
    The silence strengthens the ties
    No words are spoken, but all is known
    As you make love to me with your eyes

    The scent of your skin could drive me mad
    The warmth melts even the iciest parts
    I could lay here and never even touch you
    But you'd still have stolen my heart

    Lying here beside you, in your bed
    Hoping that you'll never have to go
    Your lips turn up in their perfect smile
    And I love you more than you'll ever know




    Submitted on 2008-01-27 20:17:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very nicely written. Is this guy for real, or just a fantasy? He seems awesome, if he is real.
    Just me now, but I think it could use some punctuation (sp?).

    peace
    | Posted on 2008-05-06 00:00:00 | by Madelaine | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156635

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bond written by saartha
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    This written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Wavelength written by saartha
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry