Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Flame to the Candledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: doppelganger
    ASL Info:    18/f/your brain
    Elite Ratio:    1.68 - 27/194/137
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 103
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 412



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Flame to the Candledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh, diminishing pillar,
    How truly lovely you are,
    Filling this room with clean light;
    At your voice these pages alight.

    Oh, magic pillar,
    How admirable you are,
    With crumbling, towering frame;
    Centuries time now tame.

    Oh, generous pillar,
    How merciful you are,
    Warring hands are 'sleep.
    I'm your secrets keep.




    Submitted on 2008-01-27 23:48:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      In 'New Jersey', you have an apostrophe that shouldn't be there (morn), but in this one there's an apostrophe that you invented and it works fine! Curious and entertaining ....

    I wonder if 'secrets' ought to have an apostrophe, and if you thought it did, exactly where you'd put it??

    Same comment on this poem as on the other. Except that I have a different reason for wishing there were more stanzas:

    This piece is a 'sustained trope' - the whole thing is one figure of speech and it is far more abstract in meaning than 'New Jersey'. So the lack of story that bugs me a bit, is story about what the candle is a symbol of.

    I don't really think you got to the bottom of that yourself, although there is something important that made you find the poem! Or maybe you are very clear but I didn't get it. But anyway, maybe expanding these verses a little would be fun?
    | Posted on 2008-01-29 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      Why it took me three reads to get this I don’t know, our electricity supplier in South Africa can’t handle the load it currently has, so many a night I’ve sit under candle light. Oh thank you generous pillar, lol.

    I liked you poem, thanks for a delightful read.
    | Posted on 2008-01-28 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.