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    dots Submission Name: The Playdots

    Author: ParanoidParadox
    ASL Info:    22/m/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 89/90/40
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 694
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1258

       Something i wrote a while ago.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Playdots

    Cascade upon the mountainside
    Descend on every thought Iíve had
    Things look better within the light
    Trickle down through the puny cracks
    The sun waning from the sky
    Paint us with every emotion
    In strokes between two and twenty
    Is this life or ascendancy?
    Forge your own path through the clouds
    And your own method, scream aloud
    Perhaps you would, had you the sound
    Realization: words mean nothing
    No single hope that screams can bring

    The peak is miles away
    We must press on still
    Push beyond the fray
    Press beyond the hill

    Antagonists force us back
    Protagonists egg us on
    Disillusionment mars us
    Keeping us from the climax
    Where this play is going to end
    Is only known to the gods
    And the playwright who wrote it
    Entertaining the would-be viewers
    With our struggles and pains
    Twists and turns within the plot
    Much like the ones in the road
    The peak grows ever nearer
    Great winds of irony blow
    Changing our direction
    Sidetracked with a useless ploy
    Finding not the ending
    But only a wish for this to end

    Submitted on 2008-01-28 10:19:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This reads well and is very interesting, also very deep. I'm assuming this trek or "play" is life with the climax being death, the end of the journey. I enjoyed the poem, but it feels like this is a better poem in the making, using the same theme but expounding more maybe to give the reader a better sense of the theme, which I'm guessing is the fact that life's journey is filled with all kinds of obstacles, and that sometimes these obstacles make us merely wish for it all to hurry up and end. Kind of what I got from it. Well and uniquely written.
    | Posted on 2008-01-28 00:00:00 | by bkj43 | [ Reply to This ]

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