The Rain by melancholystar

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Submission Name: The Rain dots

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Author:	melancholystar
ASL Info:	17/f/tx
Elite Ratio:	4.53 - 598/302/32
Words:	88

Class/Type:	Poetry/Happy
Total Views:	369
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	559

Description:
This is different then my normal rhyming poetry... but I like it. I've always loved the rain... and the smell of rain once it is no longer raining. So I hope you enjoy my rain poem... it was inspired by today's weather.

The Rain dots

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6/27/04

I love the sound of rain,
The crash of thunder,
The brightness of lightning.

I love to dance in the rain,
To twirl until I fall down,
To lay in the soaking grass.

I love to watch the rain,
Coming drop by drop,
Coming in torrents.

I love to taste the rain,
On the tip of my tongue,
On the inside of my mouth.

I love to smell the rain,
Smells so fresh,
Smells so pure.

I love the rain.

Submitted on 2004-06-27 23:20:11 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I could picture myself in the rain doing all those things. I like the rain too, but not too much of it, though. I remember onetime I was at my friends house and it was pouring rain, so we went outside for a few minutes and came back ina nd it was like we had jumped in a pool with our clothes on, lol.

Anyways. The poem was very straightforward, that you like the rain and it is something that that makes you feel good inside.

I like this part "I love to watch the rain,
Coming drop by drop,".

Oh and it reminded me of the line from the movie "The Crow". The line is "It can't rain all the time" but I think that was supposed to be aboutrain being a bad thing... So it doesn't quite fit...
| Posted on 2005-03-06 00:00:00 | by unclear-fantasy | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the Rain! I always watch thunderstorms.. I've spent quite a few nights in the streets and I love it when it rains I go under something and just watch it in peace. Life doesn't seem too bad while reading your poems..thanks

Bruno
| Posted on 2004-08-18 00:00:00 | by brunov68 | [ Reply to This ]
  its raining, its pouring...haha it really is...yay! ok well i really liked this one, i really liked the last 2 stanzas...i like how you used all the senses. ok, gonna go play in the rain...haha cya
| Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by Rosalynn Annett | [ Reply to This ]
  Thanks everyone... I think I may work on a rewrite later this week. It was kind of a spur of the moment think. I just wrote what I liked and submitted not trying to hard.. or using good wording. Thanks for bringing it to my attention more! :)
| Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a joyful little piece. Not saying it was brilliant but it was joyful. It gives it's effect. Yes, you really need to work on the overuse of words, maybe get a thesaurus. I know it sounds corny, to just open a dictionary or thesaurus, but it is very helpful...you may see a word you've never seen and actually alter the poem to use it. Don't be afraid to use big words! Up the intelligence of the world, maybe even write out a word key in the description telling what the bg words mean...cause you can educate the world! Rock on.

I don't want to say this poem is cute, because a lot of people get offended by that, but it is very lively and real! I like it, dahling.
| Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by Indi Elf | [ Reply to This ]
  It was...okay. a little to direct. I would like into using metaphors and similes, maybe a little personification. It's got potential though.
| Posted on 2004-06-27 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like it because i basically feel the same way...i like to play in the rain but i really love the smell of rain and i have no idea why...lol..nice work!
| Posted on 2004-07-12 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]

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