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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Parasitedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blu_kittin
    ASL Info:    20/F/Garden of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    6.15 - 711/397/207
    Words: 365
    Class/Type: Story/Dark
    Total Views: 925
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 3360



    Description:
       Old, but new modifications.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Parasitedots
    -------------------------------------------


          The parasite is alive, adn growing, taking from me. The Beautiful Loser offered me a pesticide, begged me to take it. Too risky.
          I could not turn to the Agnostic. Again, too risky.
          In the Great Revolution we were running out of time, and so I turned to Riff Raff, half mad with frustration and fear.
          "Magenta, I love you. Fear not and be all."
          "Behold?"
          "Be all."
          Riff Raff cradled me and the parasite, glad of the Advent, but longing for more.
          Gangsta-Love saw the Glowing Joy of the Advent and wanted a parasite of his own, and pursued Little Miss Sunshine for one.
          "Youth is fleeting, I want my piece."
          But Gangsta-Love prevailed, and had his own Advent, a new parasite to put a drain on Society. Alas, the parasite was tainted and Little Miss Sunshine couldn't make it true.
          The parasirte is draining me, and the sickness is taking hold.
          The Zen Master fumed and preached the Tao, and offered me no sanctuary.
          We had to flee.
          We are fugees now.

    The music pounded into the melody and bass in my head, each beat an explosion of psychedelic color-falls


          The Beautiful Loser pursued, afraid and unsure of the parasite, and in need of Absolution.
          I can not grant it, and so into the Tombs and Cages we ran, Riff Raff supporting me, and Gangsta-Love losing himself in the Epic Battle.
          My tears ran red, and the parasite emerged, truly enveloping me in it's net.

                            happy fugee Love/
                                        sad fugee Fear

          The Great Stone Buddha, deep within the Tombs, turned to me and Prophesized:
          "It is both Mother and Child
                            Friend and Foe
                            Tortured and Torturer.
          Beware the Pesticides
          And Revoloution, else it is sent Alone
          And ungaurded into the world."

          And as the last word fell like small pebbles from his lips to strike out against the marble Tombs, the parasite died.





    Submitted on 2008-01-28 13:07:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      First: again, I owe you a number of apologies for how long I took about this. I really do. My schoolwork has piled up to levels that I wouldn't have expected, and my grades are steadily lowering--I haven't had the time to offer the comments I owe or to write much worth reading. Heck, I haven't even had the time to think, really.

    But enough about that.

    If I remember correctly, this isn't the first of your allegories I've read; that is if I'm guessing correctly, and this is an allegory rather than a story with no hidden meaning. I note some minor spelling mistakes (adn = and, for instance).

    Overall, this is a fairly complex piece with quite a few interesting facets--including, but not limited to, several hidden meanings. I could probably attempt an analysis of what's going on in this piece, going from what I know of your others; however, I'm not sure I should given what it looks like to me.

    Once again, interesting.

    --crimson
    | Posted on 2008-04-03 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      very strange.

    I don't really think I could say anything about it that hasn't already been said, your other readers seem to have more insight into this one than I do
    | Posted on 2008-02-24 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very good! I loved it *didn't understand it, but I loved it*. You are very talented, and you should have some of your stuff published. I would kill to be able to write like you. Seriously though, I didn't follow good, but you did use seriously huge words that I'm not used to hearing. It makes me wonder what the parasite is...
    *Angel
    I promise I read it!!
    | Posted on 2008-02-12 00:00:00 | by bubble_popper15 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good writing!!! I for got just how great a writer you were(smile) Just kidding. They should make a music video for this. You have music in your soul and thats what burns so bright for you.
    Great write!!! Thanks for sharing some of your saddness.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2008-02-08 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      I found this poem, at first, to be absolutely uninteresting, but for some reason I couldn't stop reading. Then near the end I changed my mind after reading the lines

    "It is both Mother and Child
    Friend and Foe
    Tortured and Torturer.
    Beware the Pesticides
    And Revoloution, else it is sent Alone
    And ungaurded into the world."

    I'm not sure why but these linesmade me pause & take the time to truly appreciate this poem. Overall the poem is kind of like a child's long car ride to an amusement park, the ride seems dull until you get close to the destination. That's when the child's curiosity is peaked by its surroundings & then they reach the amusement park. Then when it's time to leave they want to go back. Keep up the good work.

    ~*~Brandie~*~
    | Posted on 2008-01-30 00:00:00 | by Flaming_Shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      it was very interesting and had many meaning behind it...i didn't like the way it just jumped from one moment to another without really saying exactly what happened..maybe that's just me though...i felt like it had very good out of place metaphors if you understand what i'm saying...i sometimes don't lol..but overall very fun to read....oh and i didn't unerstand why the parasite died and not you
    | Posted on 2008-01-28 00:00:00 | by taintedsmiles | [ Reply to This ]
      Really weird and at the same time quite intriguing. I like that the reader can assign his own meanings to each character, flexability so to speak. Sad for the parasite? Maybe the parasite was a baby, not said but possible in some ways of thinking. The various "dead ends" say a lot also.

    All in all, quite enjoyable. Did you know that some parasites actually practice a form of mind control over its host? Never underestimate them! Do a search on "parasite mind control".
    | Posted on 2008-01-28 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


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