[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Can Rememberdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1093

       I miss my grandma

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Can Rememberdots

    I can remember a time when nothing mattered
    But the memories that we made
    A time when rooms were filled with laughter
    And we sat and watched the light fade

    I can remember a time when things were better
    And there was nothing to hold us back
    We spent our time concerned with what we could give
    Instead of what we would lack

    I can remember a time when words were spoken
    And photographs were taken
    Smiles were fixed upon our faces
    Before our world was shaken

    I can remember a time when we were young
    And rain always came from above
    A time for hugs and tears of joy
    And all you needed was love

    I can remember a time before we were corrupted
    Before hearts were broken
    Before bonds were torn apart
    By the things left unspoken

    I can remember a time when nothing mattered
    When life was brightened by her glow
    A time when life wasn't taken for granted
    These memories of long ago...

    Submitted on 2008-01-29 20:34:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I didn't look at the description before reading this so it was kinda cool you got the point of losing someone and wishing you could still make memories with them. Although, I didn't immediatly see the connection between your grandma, I saw it almost like a wish for childhood again.
    I like how this actually rhymed well, which I don't see all the time.
    I like it, rarely ever do I enjoy rhymed pieces, mainly because they don't keep within a certian beat or rhythm, but I liked this. Good job.
    | Posted on 2008-01-29 00:00:00 | by Pursuitoflife | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    Love written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    untitled written by ShyOne
    AI written by poetotoe
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]