[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Can Rememberdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 753
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1093

       I miss my grandma

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Can Rememberdots

    I can remember a time when nothing mattered
    But the memories that we made
    A time when rooms were filled with laughter
    And we sat and watched the light fade

    I can remember a time when things were better
    And there was nothing to hold us back
    We spent our time concerned with what we could give
    Instead of what we would lack

    I can remember a time when words were spoken
    And photographs were taken
    Smiles were fixed upon our faces
    Before our world was shaken

    I can remember a time when we were young
    And rain always came from above
    A time for hugs and tears of joy
    And all you needed was love

    I can remember a time before we were corrupted
    Before hearts were broken
    Before bonds were torn apart
    By the things left unspoken

    I can remember a time when nothing mattered
    When life was brightened by her glow
    A time when life wasn't taken for granted
    These memories of long ago...

    Submitted on 2008-01-29 20:34:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I didn't look at the description before reading this so it was kinda cool you got the point of losing someone and wishing you could still make memories with them. Although, I didn't immediatly see the connection between your grandma, I saw it almost like a wish for childhood again.
    I like how this actually rhymed well, which I don't see all the time.
    I like it, rarely ever do I enjoy rhymed pieces, mainly because they don't keep within a certian beat or rhythm, but I liked this. Good job.
    | Posted on 2008-01-29 00:00:00 | by Pursuitoflife | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Incubus written by monad
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Legends written by poetotoe
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]