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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Wonderdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 928
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 888



    Description:
       Had a moment thinking about my ex...lol


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Wonderdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wonder what he's doing now
    If he's loving someone else
    I wonder if he remembers my face
    If he's forgotten how I felt

    I wonder what he's thinking now
    If I ever cross his mind
    I wonder if he ever wishes for
    The things he left behind

    I wonder how he's feeling now
    If he awakes with my name on his lips
    I wonder if him hearing my name
    Causes his stomach to do flips

    I wonder how he's sleeping now
    If I'm ever in his dreams
    I wonder if he's learned to live without
    A passion so intense that it screams

    I wonder what he's doing now
    And if he's wondering about me
    I wonder if he's finally realized that
    We just weren't meant to be




    Submitted on 2008-01-29 20:36:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The piece is alright. Not too bad, nor too good.

    Every stanza started with same type of line. Would be nicer if you can put variety, you know, different way of starting each stanza.

    "I wonder how he's feeling now
    If he awakes with my name on his lips
    I wonder if him hearing my name
    Causes his stomach to do flips"

    Love the stanza :) Especially the final line, "stomach to do flips". Interesting line.
    | Posted on 2008-01-30 00:00:00 | by iLLeGaL pLaYeR | [ Reply to This ]


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