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Submission Name:
I Wonder
--------------------------------------------------------
Author:
Raivn
ASL Info:
25/f/al
Elite Ratio:
4.28 - 1188/902/223
Words:
163
Class/Type:
Poetry/Serious
Total Views:
105
Average Vote:
No vote yet.
Bytes:
888
Description:
Had a moment thinking about my ex...lol
I Wonder
-------------------------------------------
I wonder what he's doing now
If he's loving someone else
I wonder if he remembers my face
If he's forgotten how I felt
I wonder what he's thinking now
If I ever cross his mind
I wonder if he ever wishes for
The things he left behind
I wonder how he's feeling now
If he awakes with my name on his lips
I wonder if him hearing my name
Causes his stomach to do flips
I wonder how he's sleeping now
If I'm ever in his dreams
I wonder if he's learned to live without
A passion so intense that it screams
I wonder what he's doing now
And if he's wondering about me
I wonder if he's finally realized that
We just weren't meant to be
Submitted on 2008-01-29 20:36:42
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||| Comments |||
The piece is alright. Not too bad, nor too good.
Every stanza started with same type of line. Would be nicer if you can put variety, you know, different way of starting each stanza.
"I wonder how he's feeling now
If he awakes with my name on his lips
I wonder if him hearing my name
Causes his stomach to do flips"
Love the stanza :) Especially the final line, "stomach to do flips". Interesting line.
| Posted on 2008-01-30 00:00:00 | by
iLLeGaL pLaYeR
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