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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: attentedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: explosions
    ASL Info:    -237.6995/she/the library
    Elite Ratio:    6.87 - 59/50/52
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 539



    Description:
       1.27.08

    6 comments left, heh.

    i guess you could say this was influenced by a natasha trethewey piece? it's a little different than my regular, i know. i don't know what i think of this. obviously it's simple. i kind of like it, but i can see how it might not be good.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsattentedots
    -------------------------------------------


    We wait for the check in the
    newly-opened Indian restaurant.
    The walls are still bare. They
    have not had time to put up paintings.

    Across the room, past the bar,
    a customer with an accent complains.
    He has been waiting for his order too long.
    "This is not good," he says, "We used to support you,
    but this is not good."

    My mother talks about college; my father,
    about Business. We wait for the check.
    I wait for the future.




    Submitted on 2008-01-29 20:37:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      one thing you forget is that... simple is often the most complex. why? because life and love and the craziness which ensues is farkin' crazy and divine.

    what does divine mean? what does the taste of three daisies in one's hand and the feel of a soon-to-be solar eclipse mean

    in the grand gist-histrionic scheme of things?





    the one thing is to.......












    stay true to yourself. record life. snap it and think
    "fark yeah, that was bomb, that was a true delight" and think,

    " "

    who cares. just think.


    it's poetry, girl.


    don't think so hard.



    just feel.




    luuuurve.





    enjoy.












    enjoy,













    you understand, right?
    | Posted on 2008-02-06 00:00:00 | by silent strings | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an amazing, succinct piece. I always thought it'd be sweet if newspapers printed a small poetry piece everyday, just like in the comics section, but I could never think of what kind of riding could be short and still have meaning, this is that piece.
    | Posted on 2008-02-04 00:00:00 | by MC white | [ Reply to This ]
      Actually, I really like this and its simplicity. A captured moment with a bunch going on in the background. Waiting... waiting for something, something different, to change what is. At least to me, that is the feeling that I get from this.

    | Posted on 2008-01-30 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156765

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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