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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Haunteddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Razor2TheRosary
    ASL Info:    20 - f - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 215/98/41
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 212
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1456



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHaunteddots
    -------------------------------------------


    From whispers to screaming, these voices still taunt me,
    breathing and fraying through old nightmares to haunt me.
    Shadows speak loudly, crucifying the evening,
    stalking the sounds that explode until my ears ring.

    Mercy is tangible when moonlight collapses.
    Volume increases with a thousand relapses.
    Scratches resurface like every bottle of pills
    I shove down my throat to muffle noise from your drills.

    From death threats to murder, the silence could still me,
    but now sunburned moments are dying to kill me.
    Rusty chainsaws like lightning stretch down from the sky,
    hanging over my bed, dropping dirt in my eye.

    "Bleed well for nothing," I hear repeated again.
    Your soul pushes bibles, but I won't say "amen."
    Bouquet of sins ascend from the ground like a vine,
    proving that I cannot keep what was never mine.

    From calming to violent, like rosaries to dust,
    religion disintegrates in satanic lust.
    Black crosses keep spinning on the tip of my tongue,
    sucking your weightless words through the hole in my lung.

    Ravens claw at stained-glass windows, night after night
    scraping benevolent vows that just weren't right.
    Sounds get sharper when another puncture wound calls,
    but nothing can take these voices out of the walls.




    Submitted on 2008-01-30 02:53:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You're so creepy I bet you sleep with spiders in your bed lol dont mind me the pharmacist upped my medication. Nice piece you are devishly dark. (Is it strange that i found humour in this? I hope its not just me I could really do without going back into the straightjacket).

    Crouched In A Corner,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say, I like it. I'm not sure I understand any single meaning, but it does instill a sense of growing unease as the piece progresses. It fits the title very well.
    | Posted on 2008-02-09 00:00:00 | by Raistlin Sith | [ Reply to This ]
      Kind of a Blue on Black thing? Whisper to scream doesn't really mean...

    Love the lines
    "From death threats to murder, the silence could still me,
    but now sunburned moments are dying to kill me.
    Rusty chainsaws like lightning stretch down from the sky,
    hanging over my bed, dropping dirt in my eye."

    You have a way with words that not many people get. I think you should get published!!!
    Your as good as Koontz and maybe better than
    King?

    Again your words hount me in the lines...
    ""Bleed well for nothing," I hear repeated again.
    Your soul pushes bibles, but I won't say "amen."
    Bouquet of sins ascend from the ground like a vine,
    proving that I cannot keep what was never mine."

    Your soul pushes bibles, but I wont say"amen"
    Where did you ever come up with that line? I love it!!!

    Sounds like a modern "Poe" Poem with the Raven thing in it(smile)

    Well Nikkki you have another hit on your hands!!
    Congrats
    Thanks for sharing.
    Kelley Frost

    P.S. That tat is bad ass!!! If its yours, good choice
    | Posted on 2008-02-08 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW!
    "Ravens claw at stained-glass windows, night after night
    scraping benevolent vows that just weren't right."
    Favorite lines...although I can't discount
    "Shadows speak loudly, crucifying the evening"

    You once again bring out some serious-a$$ descriptive stuff from violent tools and things that go bump in the night...

    I'm not sure where your whole doesn't flow thing - for me ~ it works just nicely. The dark side of light as seen only through the eyes of a dark and mystic angel...somedays an angel of the heavens and other days/writes an angel of the netherworld ~ either way it always seems to work for me.

    Well done again, grasshopper
    | Posted on 2008-02-02 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      I am speechless. i wasn't really prepared to read this time of poem when i opened it and by that i mean an amazing poem. The flow and the ryhtms were just brilliant.

    "Sataonic Lust" where did you come up with that. i love it.

    but i have to say this stanza was my favorite

    ""Bleed well for nothing," I hear repeated again.
    Your soul pushes bibles, but I won't say "amen."
    Bouquet of sins ascend from the ground like a vine,
    proving that I cannot keep what was never mine."

    Your poem gives me a sense of wrath. The lines make an impact that could halt your entire reading. I had to read it again so i can get a good voice and punch the words out with vicousness and understand it better. When i start to say a pome outloud to myself that means i like the pome. And i cannot read you poem silently. One of my favorites, i have to say but i am kinda stumped on the last line 'out of the walls' can you clear me up a little
    ^_^

    Cry
    | Posted on 2008-01-30 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]
      Impressive, truly impressive. I know you said it doesn't quite flow right and that you plan on fixing it. I would just like to say that I felt it flowed perfectly. This poem screms torture, pain and impending doom in the shadows and darkness, so completely the opposite of a perfection. I think the few lines that don't really flow seem to add to the dark beauty of this poem, saying that life isn't perfect, so why should the poem be written into perfection. I hope you understand what I mean, I can be confusing some times. Anyways, my favorite part, just like scissorhands' favorite part, would have to be

    "From calming to violent, like rosaries to dust,
    religion disintegrates in satanic lust.
    Black crosses keep spinning on the tip of my tongue,
    sucking your weightless words through the hole in my lung."

    I'm not sure why, but I'm drawn to it, there's just not any other way for me to explain it. I truly enjoyed reading this, keep up the good work.

    ~*~Brandie~*~
    | Posted on 2008-01-30 00:00:00 | by Flaming_Shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      i really needed this today and this is really a superbly descriptive write! i love your darkness, torture, graphic detail of pain and impending doom, my fav part...

    "From calming to violent, like rosaries to dust,
    religion disintegrates in satanic lust.
    Black crosses keep spinning on the tip of my tongue,
    sucking your weightless words through the hole in my lung"

    so good it's crazy, i don't know how you do it, but you're still my fav writer!!!! :)
    | Posted on 2008-01-30 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]



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