he broke a heart -------------------------------------------
he opened his heart 2 me and i did the same
i loved him unconditionally even through all the changes
i shared my secrets and fears and he respected me so
but once i told him my deepest he said he had 2 let me go
my tears cant stop fallin i loved him so dear
he didnt love me through all my unwanted tears and fears
My suggestions are to possibly make it a little long, or deceive the audience and make it look longer. Here is how I would re-do the poem.
"[H]e opened his heart [to] me
[A]nd did the same
[I] loved him unconditionally
[E]ven through all the changes
[I] shared my secrets and fears
[A]nd he respected me so
[B]ut once [I] told him my deepest
[H]e had [to] let me go
[M]y tears can[']t stop fallin[g]
[I] loved him so dear
[H]e didn[']t love me through
[A]ll my unwanted fears
It's a very good start to a poem, but I really do think you should add more. It makes an excellent prologue. Just remember to not get into "lazy" poetry, and capitalize, use correct punctuation and spelling. That will make a huge difference.
Submission Name: he broke a heart
