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    dots Submission Name: Fruit Treedots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 31
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 633
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 182


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    dotsFruit Treedots

    If only we could banish our cares
    like a fruit tree in an abandoned orchard rops its yield
    and look down and see them
    slowly meld with the earth.

    Submitted on 2004-06-28 01:50:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      minimal of minimal, and you said it all! what a great picture you paint of the tree in the orchard, soft with rot. one of my favorite quotes is from edna st. vincent millay: "the winter of love is a cellar of empty bins in an orchard soft with rot..." anyway, would that we could drop our cares that way, eh? great job, amy!
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      you paint a vivid picture with this poem in my mind. the images are beautiful. we all want to banish our cares from time to time. sometimes it works, sometimes not. anyway really good poem. I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very interesting image. But it seems like a mixed metaphor, because for the fruit tree, it's dropped fruit would be more akin to our offspring, not our worries and cares. But the visual is unique.
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      liking your pic..thats cool...nice write miss cuddle...very easy to understand...liking this...um yeah...anyways im liking this its good short or not since i see that wonderful james guy left a person another nice comment...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      if only hey! Trust me i feel the same way too. Nice, short sweet and definitely something i understand and can relate to. Like the metaphor of the fruit tree. Plus love your Pic.
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by Broken | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and to the point, I guess. Work on your punctuation at the end of each line, for one. I've nothing else to say. There's not really anything wrong with it, but there's also not really much to praise it for either. In fact, there's not much of it to do anything with it's so short.

    ~James "Alexian" Neal
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by alexianx | [ Reply to This ]
      ..thinking methinks. However, I really like the analogy. Only me and God knows, sometimes I wish I could shed myself like that, but in stead the fruit rots on the tree, leaving me all smelly...
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      Lots of meaning here. Yes, if only we could just cast off our cares and worries and let them rot into the ground at our feet. But then, would we ever learn anything? And, would we be as discarded as this poor abandoned tree? I loved this!
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]

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