[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Fruit Treedots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 31
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 625
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 182


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFruit Treedots

    If only we could banish our cares
    like a fruit tree in an abandoned orchard rops its yield
    and look down and see them
    slowly meld with the earth.

    Submitted on 2004-06-28 01:50:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      minimal of minimal, and you said it all! what a great picture you paint of the tree in the orchard, soft with rot. one of my favorite quotes is from edna st. vincent millay: "the winter of love is a cellar of empty bins in an orchard soft with rot..." anyway, would that we could drop our cares that way, eh? great job, amy!
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      you paint a vivid picture with this poem in my mind. the images are beautiful. we all want to banish our cares from time to time. sometimes it works, sometimes not. anyway really good poem. I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very interesting image. But it seems like a mixed metaphor, because for the fruit tree, it's dropped fruit would be more akin to our offspring, not our worries and cares. But the visual is unique.
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      liking your pic..thats cool...nice write miss cuddle...very easy to understand...liking this...um yeah...anyways im liking this its good short or not since i see that wonderful james guy left a person another nice comment...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      if only hey! Trust me i feel the same way too. Nice, short sweet and definitely something i understand and can relate to. Like the metaphor of the fruit tree. Plus love your Pic.
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by Broken | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and to the point, I guess. Work on your punctuation at the end of each line, for one. I've nothing else to say. There's not really anything wrong with it, but there's also not really much to praise it for either. In fact, there's not much of it to do anything with it's so short.

    ~James "Alexian" Neal
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by alexianx | [ Reply to This ]
      ..thinking methinks. However, I really like the analogy. Only me and God knows, sometimes I wish I could shed myself like that, but in stead the fruit rots on the tree, leaving me all smelly...
    | Posted on 2004-06-28 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      Lots of meaning here. Yes, if only we could just cast off our cares and worries and let them rot into the ground at our feet. But then, would we ever learn anything? And, would we be as discarded as this poor abandoned tree? I loved this!
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You read free written by poetotoe
    prison written by ShyOne
    Fasade written by jackz
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Cover written by saartha
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]