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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cleansing raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Briannan
    ASL Info:    20/F/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.59 - 123/127/49
    Words: 461
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 687
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2793



    Description:
       just an image i wrote down before it could leave my head.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCleansing raindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Daylight fades in the evenings glory. A girl stands before a gazebo watching a storm come in over the horizon. The moon rises and is soon half covered by incoming clouds. The dark is becoming complete.
    Her short hair is ruffled by a breeze coming in from the east carrying with it the cold of the night. She sighs letting the soon crashing storm enter her lungs.

    Her breath catches with how quickly the late summer warmth is taken away by the storm. The simple stealing of it. She is starting to fill with a feeling of waiting.

    "It is going to rain," she whispers joyfully to a person standing in the shadows of the gazebo. The trees shade surrounding it making nearly black in it.

    "It might," whispers her sentinal, "or it might pass us right by, leaving the sorry land still wanting for moisture," she replies skeptically

    The moon is swallowed completely by the clouds. The dark of the night is intensified as the weather comes in.

    "All things must come to an end," said the girl brightly, "even droughts and fires."

    "Do you think this rain will quench you?" mocked the voice from the shadows.

    "No, I do not think that it will fill me. I know it will make me whole again. It will wash me clean like a newly baptized sinner."

    There was a sarcastic laugh from the shade child. Then silence enveloped the two in waiting. The storm was coming in fast now. The sky was full black, and the thunder sounded like an earthquake pounding away. Lightening illuminated the sky for split seconds, leaving only afterimage. Then the first drops started to fall. It pattered softly against the dry ground. It knocked over the browned grass.

    The girl ran out into the rain. She began to dance and laugh as she felt the water flow down her body. Her clothes stuck to her. Her hair was plastered to her head. Her body began to steam and she kept dancing. She danced until she was exhausted and sat laughing on the grassy knoll.

    "Are you clean now?" asked the voice from the shadows, "Your deeds and anger washed away into the earth? Back to the Gaea? Are you cleansed?"


    "Yes," the girl yelled back over the storm, "I am perfect as snow, my anger given up the the sky and lightening. I am washed clean now."

    "Then come, and we shall depart, it is cold and dark and you will catch your death," said the shade.

    "Shouldn't you want that?" yelled the girl.

    "I should when it is your time youngling, and only then," said the dissatisfied voice.




    Submitted on 2008-02-01 04:32:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "Are you clean now?" asked the voice from the shadows, "Your deeds and anger washed away into the earth? Back to the Gaea? Are you cleansed?"


    "Yes," the girl yelled back over the storm, "I am perfect as snow, my anger given up the the sky and lightening. I am washed clean now."

    "Then come, and we shall depart, it is cold and dark and you will catch your death," said the shade.

    "Shouldn't you want that?" yelled the girl.

    "I should when it is your time youngling, and only then," said the dissatisfied voice.



    This is an interesting internal conversation without all the bombastic angst it could have drowned in had it been written as a vent. And it doesn't appear to be anything so melodramatic as a dialogue between two halves of a personality/Satan and Angels/the soul and body/faith and reason. However, it is a beaufully realized meditation on hope as it wrestles with cynicism. When the past is washed from us, all we have left is today.

    Just my babble.
    Bill.
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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