[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: 1914--1918dots

    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 588

       Hiram Maxim-- designed the frist successful machine gun, used by both sides in World War I with staggering success.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    We held them in their trenches,
    Until the night came on.
    We dreamed of pretty wenches,
    Until the crimson dawn.

    Then all the guns went roaring,
    The awful thump, thump, thump,
    And then the rain was pouring,
    The trench became a sump.

    Up and out to no-manís land
    We walked as if to town,
    The Maxims spit and fanned
    As Jerry mowed us down.

    Now itís near to ninety years
    While none are left to show
    Oceans of twice bitter tears
    That made these grasses grow.

    Submitted on 2008-02-01 12:40:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I used to be an avid hunter (still shoot lots, but don't hunt anymore), and am an expert shot and an expert with most types of weapons, to include military weapons. It's amazing, but the basic design of the Maxim gun has not been that much improved on with modern crew served automatic weapons. To be sure, we have automatic weapons with immensely higher firepower and with a drastically different design, but the workhorse browning machineguns that still do a lot of the down and dirty work for the infantry are not that much different.

    Your poem gives me chills to think of the terriffic destruction and casualties that occurred in World War I.
    | Posted on 2008-02-04 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a tragically beautiful poem! World War I was a tragic war, and a big part of the tragedy was because common Infantry tactics were obsolete, and didn't take into account the mass destructive power of the machine gun, thus many more casualties developed than should have been!

    Outstanding story and poem, with your usual excellent skill with rhyming and structure!

    | Posted on 2008-02-01 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Wavelength written by saartha
    True Death written by layDsayD
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]