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    dots Submission Name: Ashley to Ashes....We All Fall Downdots

    Author: enigmaticone
    ASL Info:    22/m/nh
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 19/41/27
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1087
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 595

       An idea I have been playing with for awhile. Very personal poem about problems with a certain person (ie. see title). A little play on words to make it interesting. Hope you enjoy

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAshley to Ashes....We All Fall Downdots

    Pocket full of posies
    Stench full of death
    Long skeletal fingers
    Clasped around my neck
    Tumultuous unrest
    Fervent ambitions
    Futile quest
    Morose songs fill the air
    Behind your eyes
    Vacant stare
    Ring around the rosary
    For a God that doesnt care
    Erroneously injust
    Heedlessly follow
    Blindly trust
    Ashes to ashes
    Dust to dust
    Seering embrace
    Sanity lost
    Without a trace
    Into the hellfires
    Destined to drown
    Ashes to ashes
    We all fall down

    Submitted on 2008-02-02 00:57:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Alright I will admit I came into this thinking of nothing but cliché thoughts, and there for a moment you started that way but I must say you finished strong with the last ten lines or so. I felt the power, the sharp interjecting thoughts and ruthless emotion. I will add this to my favorite list, truly you have created something that speaks character and strength, had some good strong words that didn't muddle the poem like so many do.

    Good Job...

    | Posted on 2010-02-01 00:00:00 | by HisNameIsNoMore | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this piece. it has a good rhyme scheme and good flow, along with the thick language that makes a good in depth poem.

    - That may not make sense, im just trying to explain what the poem felt like to me personally.

    It creates a great picture and the short lines and dark theme fit together nicely.

    Needless to say i liked this poem, but ive been a bit too busy to comment lately and i am a little rusty on doing so.

    Anyways good work
    | Posted on 2010-01-27 00:00:00 | by dthforeverpain8 | [ Reply to This ]
      ahh, the misery of unrequited love will always ring true... it has for me, and it has for countless billions who've inhabited this planet.

    it's a nice play on words. you probably know that the original nursery rhyme was about the black death, right? so, it fits quite well.

    anyway, just a quick comment really.
    | Posted on 2008-02-03 00:00:00 | by silent strings | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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