Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

leave me to die


Author: blankscreen
ASL Info:    22/f/NY
Elite Ratio:    5.57 - 222 /196 /163
Words: 238
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1087
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 1489



Description:




leave me to die



The dead of fall
We sing our songs of dispair
As our soft feet create vibrations accross the floor
The pavement under our toes
Scrunched up tight close
We would talk for hours as I walked him home
We would talk for days as I let him closer
And that wall broke down.

Until he left.

[I want to cut]

The addiction that drove me all those years
A friendly face
To let him know he let me down
But I let myself down
For letting go
And being another one of those girls who falls for him
Even if I am just a girl who can't say no
He sat with me and watched
As the anger welled up inside
and sprinted out my eyes
He wouldnt let go

I couldn't find a knife.

[I want to die]

He couldn't understand.
He was the optimist who drove me
But never understood
no matter what he said
He lied complaining that he comprehended.
I couldn't tell the truth from reality.
Thinking I just wanted him to leave so I could talk to my friends
He screamed and yelled
I stormed off
He grabbed me and contested a fragile I'm sorry
Tears rolled down my cheeks, my flesh burned from swift retreat
This was the moment it was all supposed to leave
He was supposed to leave
But he didn't walk away




Submitted on 2008-02-02 07:15:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  i dont particularly care for the arrangement of this piece. it doesnt flow well and that ditracts from it for me personally.

but, i really enjoyed it. the first stanza about the fall made me feel like i was outside in late october when i was fifteen or sixteen. it was powerfully memory-provoking for me and im not sure why. im just thankful for what you wrote.

i love the fall.

im a cutter. i havent cut since march, but i want to often. reading this makes me want to cut. i hope you are trying not to cut anymore yourself. love is a beautiful and encouraging thing, but dont let yourself be so depedant on someone that if they leave you would fall completely apart.

easier said than done.

xo.
| Posted on 2008-09-13 00:00:00 | by caster | [ Reply to This ]
  if he didnt leave then why would you still wanna die?... is th problem with his presence or absence???

anyways I loved the part where you said
<Tears rolled down my cheeks, my flesh burned from swift retreat>

Great One.... SOooo going as a fav !!
| Posted on 2008-02-04 00:00:00 | by Dying Young | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



156950