Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Always [Mistake]dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Morsketch
    ASL Info:    21/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 27/26/26
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1063
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 827



    Description:
       At the risk of taking something from the poem, it's not completely autobiographical.

    Also, I like the title 'Always' better than 'Mistake' for the tone of the poem, but having the concept of a mistake made out of naivety attached to the poem was important to me. Which is why it seems like there's two titles.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlways [Mistake]dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I値l never be a hater,
    I値l never be a lie,
    I値l never cry a river,
    As I wish to die.

    I値l never take a knife,
    I値l never kill myself,
    I値l never take five bottles,
    Of pills from off the shelf.

    I値l never fail that test,
    I値l never be alone,
    I値l never pick up crying,
    Or without a glance, put down the phone.

    I値l never give up trying,
    I値l never leave a fight,
    I値l never stay up restless,
    The entire endless night.

    I値l never try a substance,
    I値l never loose control,
    I値l never use a bottle,
    To heal my broken soul.

    But somewhere down the road,
    The line began to blur,
    Never became Always,
    And Always has no cure.




    Submitted on 2008-02-02 16:46:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      By far the best. Not only because I'm a bias on some of them, saw a few that hit a soft spot and spoke out bias and non bias, but this one is the best in light of both.
    | Posted on 2008-05-08 00:00:00 | by BlazeFlamme | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm. I want to say something other than this work was great. So, I shall try. Ahem. I liked this poem because of it's truthful-ness. I know what this poem means. Many people say they're not going to do something, but in the end, they end up doing it anyway. My favorite part was

    But somewhere down the road,
    The lines began to blur,
    Never became Always,
    And Always has no cure.

    I loved this piece, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff. Peace and inspiration!

    Duv
    | Posted on 2008-02-02 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156963

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    You read free written by poetotoe
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    prison written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Fasade written by jackz
    Cover written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry