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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: they call him maurice. i call him my husband.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: icaughtfire591
    ASL Info:    16/f/MI
    Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 75/74/39
    Words: 354
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 835
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2268



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthey call him maurice. i call him my husband.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Yet again.
    I feel like IíveÖ
    Let you down again.
    Like a horrible friend.
    What the fuck is wrong with me?
    Am I that much worse than I used to beÖ
    I ask myself.
    Because if I ask you
    You wonít tell me that
    Itís true.
    The only hints
    Are when you sometimes say
    On the phone with me,
    ďSabby itís not the same.Ē
    Of course not babe.
    And how can it be?
    With this million mile separation,
    Even temporarily.
    Itís like youíre all the way
    Across the universe.
    And remembering us a year ago
    Makes me feel even worse.
    Iím sorry that I donít say
    The right things sometimes,
    That there are things you
    Donít want to give away
    To me.
    ďJust forget about it.
    Letís talk about something else.Ē

    Okay.
    Well Iím still sorry.
    I still care about you
    More than you may think
    Sometimes.
    And I still worry
    A lot,
    On nights like this
    When you say
    ďIím not eating anymore
    Starting tomorrow.
    Youíve got to be my motivation.Ē
    No.
    And no itís not different for me
    At all.
    Donít be that note again,
    Donít take that fall.
    Wrong is wrong.
    Itís the wrong way to go, babe.
    I love you so much,
    Way too much for that.
    Itís bad enough that I canít be there for you
    But itís not our fault.
    And itís not your fault.

    Iím sorry that you feel lonely inside.
    Iím sorry that I donít know what to say but
    ďWhy?Ē
    I wish you were here.
    I miss you my dear,
    My husband.

    Iím sorry for whatever I did
    Or didnít do
    To make you
    Go.
    To make you get off the phone
    This time.
    Donít be angry with me.
    But if you are I really couldnít blame you.
    I can only hope that
    Youíre not bent over the toilet again.
    Not my best friend.
    Thatís an image that I hate in my mind,
    It kills me inside.
    It really doesÖ
    It could bring me to my knees.
    I just hope you know
    How much I love you baby.




    Submitted on 2008-02-02 18:30:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I hope he'll know someday how much you loved him as much as you could make the reader know !
    it's funny how we don't realised that we went wrong until they flee.. but this is life... when you want to get a little you got to pay a lot !!

    anyways ... about this piece...t's so obvious that it tells a story ... you used <baby> and <darling> so many times.. yet it didnt seem a heavy repetition to me... because it goes very well with the feeling that this poem carries... I mean the vocab is really very simple... the feelings are nothing new... but the organisation and the tone you used gave it a smooth caracter !!

    I sooo like it !!

    | Posted on 2008-02-04 00:00:00 | by Dying Young | [ Reply to This ]


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