Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

they call him maurice. i call him my husband.


Author: icaughtfire591
ASL Info:    16/f/MI
Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 75 /74 /39
Words: 354
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 973
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2350



Description:




they call him maurice. i call him my husband.



Yet again.
I feel like I’ve…
Let you down again.
Like a horrible friend.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Am I that much worse than I used to be…
I ask myself.
Because if I ask you
You won’t tell me that
It’s true.
The only hints
Are when you sometimes say
On the phone with me,
“Sabby it’s not the same.”
Of course not babe.
And how can it be?
With this million mile separation,
Even temporarily.
It’s like you’re all the way
Across the universe.
And remembering us a year ago
Makes me feel even worse.
I’m sorry that I don’t say
The right things sometimes,
That there are things you
Don’t want to give away
To me.
“Just forget about it.
Let’s talk about something else.”

Okay.
Well I’m still sorry.
I still care about you
More than you may think
Sometimes.
And I still worry
A lot,
On nights like this
When you say
“I’m not eating anymore
Starting tomorrow.
You’ve got to be my motivation.”
No.
And no it’s not different for me
At all.
Don’t be that note again,
Don’t take that fall.
Wrong is wrong.
It’s the wrong way to go, babe.
I love you so much,
Way too much for that.
It’s bad enough that I can’t be there for you
But it’s not our fault.
And it’s not your fault.

I’m sorry that you feel lonely inside.
I’m sorry that I don’t know what to say but
“Why?”
I wish you were here.
I miss you my dear,
My husband.

I’m sorry for whatever I did
Or didn’t do
To make you
Go.
To make you get off the phone
This time.
Don’t be angry with me.
But if you are I really couldn’t blame you.
I can only hope that
You’re not bent over the toilet again.
Not my best friend.
That’s an image that I hate in my mind,
It kills me inside.
It really does…
It could bring me to my knees.
I just hope you know
How much I love you baby.




Submitted on 2008-02-02 18:30:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I hope he'll know someday how much you loved him as much as you could make the reader know !
it's funny how we don't realised that we went wrong until they flee.. but this is life... when you want to get a little you got to pay a lot !!

anyways ... about this piece...t's so obvious that it tells a story ... you used <baby> and <darling> so many times.. yet it didnt seem a heavy repetition to me... because it goes very well with the feeling that this poem carries... I mean the vocab is really very simple... the feelings are nothing new... but the organisation and the tone you used gave it a smooth caracter !!

I sooo like it !!

| Posted on 2008-02-04 00:00:00 | by Dying Young | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



156968