Description: Originally inspired from the Arabic term "Hijab" which means to cover. I just really wanted to put myself in the shoes of someone else's culture. I hope i was able to do that. Tell me if i did.
Try not to watch
What you may not find
For I have nothing
To offer your pleasure
Only The strength of my soul
The wisdom of my words
The presence of my body
And that my heart is pure
Your thoughts do question me
From the choices I have made
To divide myself from you
Shelter my world from others
Refuse to expose what is mine
A beauty that God bestowed me
I place a veil for my privacy
One you will never discover
That dwelling belongs to me
And to those I welcome to enter
Study the edges if you must
For that shall be your only sight
Watch me with wonder
For I shall be known
Not from veiling what I am
Who I am is what matters
But preserving my soul
From falling in the hands of lust
For walking untroubled grounds
I am distanced from foul hearts
I have to agree with a lot of what Outlaw has said here. Coming from an Islamic background myself, I can point out a few things that may or may not help your insight into this tradition.
I don't wear Hijab myself, but have several close family members who do. Their reasons are all different. In the religion itself, it doesn't state Hijab as a necessity, but it does say that women AND men should dress modestly. Modesty is open to interpretation... and actually, during the prophet's times, women were not veiled at all because of identification purposes when people died. So what you see today is not the religion's requirements but a cultural phenomenon.
Hijab isn't about hiding in shame or being afraid to show yourself. Many women wear it with pride, but unfortunately, its purpose has been abused. So yes, after a lot of distortion and greed and quest for power, women in some areas are forced to wear Hijab because their lives are on the line. But again, it is not Islamic. It's cultural.
The opening stanza is completely false. Women who wear Hijab don't do it because they have "nothing to offer." It's quite the opposite. I know many married couples who find Hijab a turn on, and it turns into a sexual thing in the bedroom, where the husband is HONORED that his wife would expose herself to him and only him. It's considered to be romantic, flirtatious, and in some ways sexual. Hell, I even know teenage girls who cover themselves for perverted reasons as a fetish.
The last stanza also rings untrue.
"Lust" as you've defined it, is not an evil of this world. It's actually something beautiful that's been twisted. Again, by strict cultures.
It's noble of you to try and tackle a topic as grand as this, but I'm afraid there are some perspectives and insights that are lacking. With a revision, it could be a powerful message.
I am surprised quite honestly to still see you persist on this site. I myself have been dormant lately, seldom crawling outside of my own page. Since I do recall you reading some of my french pieces, I will do you this favor: I will try to be as honest as I can be. Though, that may include mean details. I will try though to keep a neutral tone, and keep it to strictly meaningful details. Alright.
A few tweaks:
Try not to watch
what you may not find,
for I have nothing
to offer [for] your pleasure.
Only,
the strength of my soul
the wisdom of my words
the presence of my body
And,
that my heart is pure.
Your thoughts [do] question me
[for] the choices I have made:
To divide myself from you,
shelter my world from others
refuse to expose what is mine
a beauty that God bestowed [onto] me.
I [hold] a [veil] for my privacy
one you will never discover.
That dwelling belongs to me
and those I welcome to enter;
study the edges if you must
for that [is] your only [liberty.]
Watch me [and] wonder (Ws choked me up here)
for I shall be known -
Not [for] [dismaying] what I am;
who I am is what matters.
But [to preserve] my soul
from falling into [idle] hands.(shorter-implied meaning)
[I walk] untroubled grounds
I [am] distanced from [fowl] hearts
I apologize... I feel like I murdered and mutilated your piece. And so you know, I was really iffy about the dismaying. You could keep veiling for which reason I understand curtain earlier, but curtain was just awkward. Plus, dismaying kind of falls into the character more because it shows prejudice, the one fought at least. And you could just ignore my dropping some capitalized letters and adding punctuation if you feel it better - it is just a matter of opinion after all.. As well as the stanza structure.
Personally, I think you kind of get the picture you want in this piece, but I also feel like you are missing something essential. You don't put enough emphasis on the choice, the reason, the motivation, the intention. You say "for MY privacy" which is slightly off with the proper nuance. And the veil itself isn't just an effigy of privacy; once married it also symbolizes purity, one which is focused towards sexuality.
If you go down to the religious meaning of the garment, it is MODESTY. What is modesty? That is a whole other branch of the argument honestly. But the Hijab is imposed on girls right before they theoretically hit puberty as a choice of modesty - and don't think I mean forced on by imposed, merely brought to mind.. I guess. What does modesty speak of when it comes to ladies? I do remember back when Audrey was young and fine that modesty was the prime virtue of beautiful women, that it almost defined them.. And that was WESTERN culture. Makes you wonder how unrelated the notions really are.. doesn't it?
Submission Name: Covering 
