Do you feel like that?
Who would throw you aside? Your a lovely person, with a lovely personality. I think you are a very wonderful man.
Okay, now feed back on the poem.
My favorite part was-
"begging like a pathetic fool
then thrown away like a defective tool
that is the last straw
this habit has to go
have to forget this law
and go against the flow"
That really struck me. Its a very effective peice and I can see it all because of the imagery you give.
Before that the ryhme scheme seemed off, but the way you wrapped up the poem made it great.
If you were to change anything I would try to get the ryhme scheme at the beginning a little more... hmm.. organized? I dont no if thats the word I want but im sleepy so itll have to do :P
Submission Name: Changing
