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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Freedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AnnaBullen707
    ASL Info:    14/Female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    1.92 - 16/48/48
    Words: 162
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 89
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1100



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFreedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm so free
    Limbs and fingertips
    Unsolicited
    Free!
    I raise my spirit from the last cold floor
    And drop one burning key
    Liberated!
    Emancipated!
    Rid of all the hands that closed in around,
    And bound my unkempt heart and chest
    And weighed my courage down



    No more grazing my fine neck, you see!
    Free!
    As once I hoped to be
    From the bruise on my head
    To the blood on my bed
    I am free! Just free!
    So free!

    Wholly, totally free
    And recoiling no more,
    From these chains I have shed!
    Knocked the bolts from the door
    Oh, remember me?
    Timid
    Little skittish old me?
    Well I'm free
    And so weightless
    As no suppression could be
    And so perfect
    Just perfect
    As perfect could be
    Now I'm free!
    In my voice
    You can hear it
    I'm free!
    Fear it
    Revere it
    Oh, hear it

    I'm free!




    Submitted on 2008-02-05 04:19:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Impressive...

    Strange form, superb line of thinking, nice pace and some simple rhyme scale... it all fits very well. I really like the way you developed your concept. It's not something I would expect. I rarely see an original work built on simplistic expressions but composed in unusual combinations.

    P.S. Freedom is always a great theme to work on.

    ~*~P~*~
    | Posted on 2008-02-09 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      ya i agree with the first comment but i still think its good
    even if you go into detail it could be so many different things but all in all the reader has there own impression and that is a good way to write

    well done

    sandman
    | Posted on 2008-02-06 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a really exciting poem to read! maybe there could have been more detail as to what you are free from but it was cleverly written and i think a very good, positive work!!! keep it up!
    | Posted on 2008-02-05 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]



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