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Tingle of a Dream

Author: lynn marsters
ASL Info:    20/f/canada
Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 49 /61 /32
Words: 60
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 922
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 419


Tingle of a Dream

A tingle
Dream I had
Crept upon
In the
I was alone
But wanting

And I dreamed…

And then I woke
Soap bubbles
Burst the same

Now I know
You don’t love me …

And I know that now

Submitted on 2008-02-05 15:15:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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  i like the feel of this poem. the pauses and a kind of, ambiguity about it. but i want more out of it. what were you dreaming, who are you talking about, how does knowing they don't love you make you feel. i like your style, but i think you could get more out of it. Good luck.
Regards, Kalinda
| Posted on 2008-02-06 00:00:00 | by Kalinda | [ Reply to This ]

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1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?