Tension/Dance

Author: lynn marsters ASL Info:    20/f/canada Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 49 /61 /32 Words: 84

Class/Type: Misc /Misc Total Views: 1128 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 654

Description:

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Tension/Dance

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Tension S T R U N G Through her body Beatifies the music Expresses the emotion Releases the Tension She feels, Her heart, Is cold, Her mind, Is empty Her soul is on fire Tension Controls her every movement A moment in time The sound Was all there was And she was In And Of it Tension Expressed her love

Submitted on 2008-02-05 15:17:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

i like this one too, they both have a sort of abstract quality to them which i enjoy, the ability for anyone to interpret how they choose. with this one however i would suggest spacing the strung part away from the lines before and after, because the way it is the eye naturally starts reading it as TSTRUNGT so unless you were doing that on purpose, i would separate them. also i think that this part: She feels, Her heart, Is cold, Her mind, Is empty Her soul is on fire would sound better without the 'is' in front of 'cold' and 'empty' i think they could make more impact as single words. But of course these are just suggestions. Regards, Kalinda

| Posted on 2008-02-06 00:00:00 | by Kalinda | [ Reply to This ]

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