i like this one too, they both have a sort of abstract quality to them which i enjoy, the ability for anyone to interpret how they choose. with this one however i would suggest spacing the strung part away from the lines before and after, because the way it is the eye naturally starts reading it as TSTRUNGT so unless you were doing that on purpose, i would separate them.
also i think that this part:
She feels,
Her heart,
Is cold,
Her mind,
Is empty
Her soul is on fire
would sound better without the 'is' in front of 'cold' and 'empty' i think they could make more impact as single words.
But of course these are just suggestions.
Regards, Kalinda
Submission Name: Tension/Dance
