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Tension/Dance


Author: lynn marsters
ASL Info:    20/f/canada
Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 49 /61 /32
Words: 84
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1128
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 654



Description:




Tension/Dance



Tension
S
T
R
U
N
G
Through her body
Beatifies the music
Expresses the emotion

Releases the

Tension

She feels,
Her heart,
Is cold,
Her mind,
Is empty
Her soul is on fire

Tension
Controls her every movement

A moment in time
The sound
Was all there was

And she was
In
And
Of it

Tension

Expressed her love





Submitted on 2008-02-05 15:17:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  i like this one too, they both have a sort of abstract quality to them which i enjoy, the ability for anyone to interpret how they choose. with this one however i would suggest spacing the strung part away from the lines before and after, because the way it is the eye naturally starts reading it as TSTRUNGT so unless you were doing that on purpose, i would separate them.
also i think that this part:

She feels,
Her heart,
Is cold,
Her mind,
Is empty
Her soul is on fire

would sound better without the 'is' in front of 'cold' and 'empty' i think they could make more impact as single words.
But of course these are just suggestions.
Regards, Kalinda
| Posted on 2008-02-06 00:00:00 | by Kalinda | [ Reply to This ]


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