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    dots Submission Name: Beyond Life's Fearsdots

    Author: Peggy Paris
    ASL Info:    61/F/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 747/570/167
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 614
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 867


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    dotsBeyond Life's Fearsdots

    Harsh winter’s wind blew icy chill
    Across the meadow, o’er the hill;
    But, warm beneath my fleecy sheet,
    I fell asleep despite the sleet.

    As frozen drops hit windowpanes,
    A-tap, tap, tapping came the rains
    In ever-growing fits of noise
    That no amount of will destroys.

    A nightmare threat’ning to progress
    Kept slowly building fearful stress;
    Each sound, more menacing in tone,
    Drove growing fear of things unknown.

    No logic met my fitful sleep
    For terror’d crept inside too deep.
    Attempting yet to seek escape,
    I scratched and clawed and screamed and scraped.

    Beyond the point of no return
    Where light of day must surely burn,
    May’s spring awaits the daffodils
    And I shall win this war of wills.

    Submitted on 2008-02-06 00:09:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this piece and the rhythm of the weather fit the meter of the piece and the words came quick and piercing!

    I enjoyed this!

    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    | Posted on 2008-03-11 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm impressed. I adore the meter; the poem begs for me to read it outloud.

    Overall, great consistency throughout the poem. Almost every word seemed to be made for the word that came before it.

    The only part I'm not sure about is "fleecy sheet"... it was the only instance that I felt a little out of place reading.

    It was definately refreshing to read.
    | Posted on 2008-02-19 00:00:00 | by ARoomOfMyOwn | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! are are an AMAZIGNG poet! you are just incredible. this poem was so well written.
    | Posted on 2008-02-08 00:00:00 | by Nessyjane | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a remarkable description of a developing nightmare promted by a winter storm! It's a delightful poem, with excellent structure and rhyme. I found the first stanza spectacular:

    "Harsh winter’s wind blew icy chill
    Across the meadow, o’er the hill;
    But, warm beneath my fleecy sheet,
    I fell asleep despite the sleet."

    | Posted on 2008-02-06 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This was one of those stormy nights, you falling asleep, cold under your sheet.
    It started to hail, (fits) hail coming in sections and it’s getting louder and louder. You want the storm to go away because you are afraid.
    All logic disappeared as the nightmare took over, you started to kick and to scream.
    You begin to feel save again as the night disappears onto morning. You woke from your sleep, your will took over, you win.

    I hate it when I’m dreaming; I know I’m dreaming, but unable to wake myself.
    The only thing I didn’t like was the word “o’er” you probably want to make it sound like a one syllable word to keep the meter, but still sounds like two. The missing consonant makes it sound very long. Do I make sense?

    Other than that, nice poem Sharon
    | Posted on 2008-02-06 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]

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