This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The hardest part of life


Author: Lover girl
ASL Info:    17, female
Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 83 /54 /24
Words: 161
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1215
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 947



Description:


This is what happened when i went to break-up with my boyfriend, and it was one of the hardest decisions i have ever had to make.


The hardest part of life



As we sit on the couch
With your hand holding mine
I think of the things that need to be done.
The words were unspoken,
But we both knew them true.
I tried to speak what must be said,
But my mind and my mouth, could not understand.
Finally, the words were told
Of hurt and deception,
And of a love that was torn.
The tears ran down freely,
And you wiped them away.
You pulled me into your arms,
And there was nothing we could say.
My tears were still flowing,
And my heart still in two,
But for a moment I was lost,
And it was just me adn you.
With my make-up all smeary,
And some on your face.
You kissed me with tenderness,
And I felt my control slip away.
I didn't want to leave you.
I felt so alone,
But with a kiss on the cheek,
And a hug,
I was gone.




Submitted on 2008-02-06 16:11:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  A great deal of painful and conflicting emotion is poured out here.... most well and most ably done throughout... bravo.. bravo.. bravo...
| Posted on 2008-03-21 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
  This was written very well. I loved it so much I cried. This is exactly what happened to me, only we weren't on the couch. Wow, this was.... I don't know what to say. It's like you were spying on me. Anyway, the poem was good, but as I said in my last comment, I kind of stumbled over the last few lines. Around the last six lines. Other than that, perfect! keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

»MIss MIsery«
| Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



157135