This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Lost moments


Author: Lover girl
ASL Info:    17, female
Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 83 /54 /24
Words: 144
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1087
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 865



Description:


Everything seems to be goning down hill as my ex moves on and i am left behind with my emotions and my broken heart


Lost moments



Without your touch my warmth is gone
As is my heart and soul
Our memories and moments
(Though so dear to me)
Haunt my nights with cold
When my pain finally ceases
And my broken life is healed
I will only wish for our moments
Which are lost and filled with fear
I can still feel your light kiss
As you pressed your lips to mine
And your soft lingering fingertips
Are always close to mind
But I will hope for our lost moments
As the tears fall down my face
And I will long for your endearments
Which may never find their place
Our together has come to an end
And with that I must bid my adue
But my heart is still with you
As is my tattered soul
And you still have my forever
AS our lost moments are silently torn




Submitted on 2008-02-06 16:21:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This was written very well. I loved it. I know exactly where you're coming from. My ex moved on before we even broke up. Three months later, he's still the object of my affection. It sucks, doesn't it? Anyway, the poem was great, consistant rhyme, good flow, but at the end I kind of stumbled. Somewhere around the last four lines. I'm not sure why, I think it ceased to flow as well as the rest of the poem. Other than that is was great. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

»MIss MIsery«
| Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



157136