Mother's hands by poppi

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Mother's hands dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	poppi
ASL Info:	15/f/?
Elite Ratio:	7.81 - 54/40/30
Words:	83

Class/Type:	Poetry/Nostalgia
Total Views:	111
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	583

Description:
I wrote this on a whim, it's not that good but in a way it's me venting on how the feel of people such as mothers change over time or circumstance.

Mother's hands dots

-------------------------------------------

Mothers hands
So soft and sweet
Warmth is what I found
The complete freedom
Of unbounded acceptance
But now,
It’s tears I wipe
Away from my own eyes
Because it’s,
Mothers hands that are
Calloused and rough.
From years of work
That’s never enough
I can’t face, what I no longer know
A gasping sigh
I just can’t seem,
To let what used to be, go
Such memories,
Sweetly filled with sorrow
Are mothers hands
Before she became
Mother again

Submitted on 2008-02-06 21:29:22 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
wow girl... This is a very interesting read. I think ALL girls can relate to feeling conflicted about one's mother. Perhaps I am reading this wrong, but the meaning of a poem lies in the meaning the reader finds, no? Anyways, I thought this poem was interesting because it reminded me that despite the fights my mom and I get into, she's still my mother and she still works hard to keep my life as good as she would hope it would be. It's a deep piece, and very real.
I agree with Someone's Epiphany when she said that you use comma's a bit oddly. If you did it on purpose, I think perhaps that purpose has been missed by the readers. If it was unintentional, perhaps you should consider going back and re-looking at your use of punctuation and see if you are completely satisfied with it. Otherwise, great write! Keep it up!
| Posted on 2008-04-05 00:00:00 | by Good Enough | [ Reply to This ]
youve placed commas in the weirdest places. was that on purpose? or are you not sure where they go? i suck at punctuation but i think you could make it tighter in this piece for sure.

its interesting the way mothers hands change and perhaps arent there the way they once were. theres prolly stacks of reasons for that and potentially one of them could be that you have grown up and mothers have this idea that grown up children dont want their mummy to display affection the way she did when the child was much younger. it may not be anything we have said... it could be our actions/body language.

you say work that was never enough... never enough coz the money was never there or...? parents just want the best for their kids and working working working their hands to the bone can be seen as gaining the best but they fail to invest themselves emotionally in their childs life as a result which can also have effects...

i dont know... im rambling... interesting ideas... maybe you could talk to your mother about the way your feeling..?
| Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

157144

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]