Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mother's handsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poppi
    Elite Ratio:    7.47 - 72/55/37
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 777
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 583



    Description:
       I wrote this on a whim, it's not that good but in a way it's me venting on how the feel of people such as mothers change over time or circumstance.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMother's handsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mothers hands
    So soft and sweet
    Warmth is what I found
    The complete freedom
    Of unbounded acceptance
    But now,
    Itís tears I wipe
    Away from my own eyes
    Because itís,
    Mothers hands that are
    Calloused and rough.
    From years of work
    Thatís never enough
    I canít face, what I no longer know
    A gasping sigh
    I just canít seem,
    To let what used to be, go
    Such memories,
    Sweetly filled with sorrow
    Are mothers hands
    Before she became
    Mother again




    Submitted on 2008-02-06 21:29:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow girl... This is a very interesting read. I think ALL girls can relate to feeling conflicted about one's mother. Perhaps I am reading this wrong, but the meaning of a poem lies in the meaning the reader finds, no? Anyways, I thought this poem was interesting because it reminded me that despite the fights my mom and I get into, she's still my mother and she still works hard to keep my life as good as she would hope it would be. It's a deep piece, and very real.
    I agree with Someone's Epiphany when she said that you use comma's a bit oddly. If you did it on purpose, I think perhaps that purpose has been missed by the readers. If it was unintentional, perhaps you should consider going back and re-looking at your use of punctuation and see if you are completely satisfied with it. Otherwise, great write! Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2008-04-05 00:00:00 | by Good Enough | [ Reply to This ]
      youve placed commas in the weirdest places. was that on purpose? or are you not sure where they go? i suck at punctuation but i think you could make it tighter in this piece for sure.

    its interesting the way mothers hands change and perhaps arent there the way they once were. theres prolly stacks of reasons for that and potentially one of them could be that you have grown up and mothers have this idea that grown up children dont want their mummy to display affection the way she did when the child was much younger. it may not be anything we have said... it could be our actions/body language.

    you say work that was never enough... never enough coz the money was never there or...? parents just want the best for their kids and working working working their hands to the bone can be seen as gaining the best but they fail to invest themselves emotionally in their childs life as a result which can also have effects...

    i dont know... im rambling... interesting ideas... maybe you could talk to your mother about the way your feeling..?
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    157144

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    prison written by ShyOne
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry