[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: sweet princess of the treedots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 140
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 577
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 997


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssweet princess of the treedots

    slip back the whispers
    past your pale length of life
    &, with your stoic tongue,
    breed a myth of longing
    where your eyes adore.

    sweet princess of the tree,
    reclaim me.
    & let steel-fisted weather
    ignore not
    the fettered moon
    of evening.

    slide forward
    into new futures
    where your hands reinvent
    the path across my brow.
    live free in the still of things
    where others arms are never subtle.

    i've cherished something simple
    in the shadows of my sleep.
    that time recreates
    the memory of itself
    & that what's lost now
    will be refound in my dreams.

    i need bluish hands
    in the flapping of the night.
    my voice slips through cracks
    on a bended course to you.
    watch me
    as the blood escapes my eyes,
    these little peices of the heart
    i give to you.

    Submitted on 2008-02-07 03:47:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      dude... this is so awesome! i love the flow and the rythym... so good! and the story it tells is beautiful!!! great work!
    | Posted on 2008-02-08 00:00:00 | by Kaygrl | [ Reply to This ]
      Perfect. No clichè in this one at all. And the syntax of your second stanza was beautiful.

    I picture the last three lines of this poem in slow motion falling from a building. that has been over taken by vines, for some reason.

    Your poetry has a deep homage to nature, I feel.

    The entire thing hit different parts of me so perfectly, it was like making love to Angel, my friend.
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Renè Magrete | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cover written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    prison written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]