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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the Story of Sad Little Broken Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Wolfie
    ASL Info:    18/Male/sweden
    Elite Ratio:    4.97 - 66/61/37
    Words: 565
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 752
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3434



    Description:
       This is, I think, the seventh rewrite of this poem and I just can't decide so now I need someone elses opinion of it.
    please tell me what you like and what could be changed.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe Story of Sad Little Broken Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sad little broken heart
    Stood alone in the cold empty road
    Crying out to the world
    Asking why things are the way they are

    So came a rain cloud
    Hearing the hearts lament
    He soared over her to listen
    Cascading celestial droplets over her

    Why? Said sad little broken heart
    Why must you rain on me?
    And the cloud lowered himself and said
    Because I’m a rain cloud, and raining is what I do

    But the heart could not hear
    For then the cold north wind came howling
    Drowning the rain clouds words
    In his ghastly screams

    Why? Said sad little broken heart
    Why must you howl at me?
    And the wind blew around her to say
    Because I am the cold north wind and howl is what I do

    But the heart could not hear
    For she was sick with cold
    And she was drenched with rain
    And she was slowly breaking from pain

    Why? Why said sad little broken heart
    Why must I feel this pain, why must I cry these tears
    Why must I bear these burdens
    With this, she spent her last breath

    Then a wonderful angel, in the heavens above
    Thought it best, to give the answer
    So she flew down to sad little broken heart
    Passing rain cloud and north wind grieving

    The rain cloud cried like never before
    And the north wind was flowing silently around them
    And softly they both listened and watched
    As the angelic beauty bent down to sad little broken heart

    By the angels touch sad little broken heart looked up
    And her eyes gazed in query
    As the angel let her shining voice speak
    The answers that had been forever sought

    My sad, sad little broken heart, the angel said
    You cry so that someone else might not
    You’re in pain so that someone else might feel ease
    You bear these burdens to lighten someone else’s load

    When the rain cloud rains on you
    He rains not anywhere else
    And when the great northern wind howls at you
    He howls at no one else

    So you see my lovely broken heart
    You have eased the pain of so many souls
    And now when I take you to the land of the dead
    Someone else may stay here and live

    “Then” said sad little broken heart
    Have I had no other purpose of existence than a mere rag doll
    On whom you dump pain and misery
    Until I’m broken and dead, and then you throw me away

    I’m sorry said the beautiful angel
    Sorry that you cannot be glad for those you’ve helped
    How can I be glad said sad little broken heart
    When I know not what happiness is

    Entity of sorrow I have become
    I shall be what you were not
    Angel of the sad, angel of the forgotten
    I shall comfort those on whom you dispose your pain

    If you are intent on playing your game
    They deserve at least to know they’re not alone
    And know this my sweet angel of joy
    For every life you save, another dies

    A bewildered angel flew to her heaven
    And she saw that the sad little broken heart
    Had become an angel like herself
    Dressed in sorrow and soaring to dry the rain clouds tears




    Submitted on 2008-02-07 03:55:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Aww wow I really liked this piece, I wouldnt change a thing. This actually really got to me because it is how I feel all the time. The feeling of having to endure so much pain so that others may be happy. And when I feel like I will never feel happiness I think its ok, that just having other people be happy is enough for me.

    I love how you portrayed that story and you still left your own message about how you think things should be.

    Seriously it was an amazing piece,
    Keep it up :)
    ~flora~
    | Posted on 2008-02-09 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]



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