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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Love Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Piper
    ASL Info:    23/ Female/ The System
    Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 52/54/37
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1406
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 788



    Description:
       I'm really tired of all the love poems I've been writing for the last few weeks, but I simply cannot stop. Oh well.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Love Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I care a lot,
    And you can't even see
    The way I look at you,
    How much you mean to me.

    So I'm writing this down,
    Hoping that once,
    You are going to read it,
    And maybe give us a chance.

    You smile and shout,
    But you don't know your way,
    Makes me feel good,
    And really makes my day.

    And how am I supposed
    To live when you're gone,
    Like I never met you.
    How can I carry on?

    You made me feel something
    That I never felt before
    And I cannot forget it,
    It is you I adore.

    The simple things you say,
    Make my dreams come true,
    And how can I ever forget,
    That I once loved you.




    Submitted on 2008-02-08 08:40:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really love how you used simple language to really get your message out and I can totally relate. this is truly a beautiful poem about love well written :)
    michelle :)
    | Posted on 2010-07-15 00:00:00 | by cherrywillow | [ Reply to This ]
      Another great write wow!! I too have felt abandonment from people , and some past realationships. Remembering this and going back into my memories I remember the hurt the pain and feelings of abandonment and just feeling alone. For along time I felt that way like the world was out to make me misrable and everyone was to blame that I fell in love and was rejected.Sad.. Eventually I found this really amazing gye and cant explain just how much I truly love him more than anyone I have loved.
    things were a little rocky at first and finding out I was a alcoholic was even more hard. But were getting threw this one day at a time and I have been sober 11 days and I feel realy good. Got someone that is there that really cares and loves me for me an never wants anything more than love in return.
    Great write! Keep it up!

    totojane03
    | Posted on 2009-08-20 00:00:00 | by totojane03 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's simple and straight to the point, but I do feel that it can be presented in a more subtle way. With certain choice of words, the tone and atmosphere can change a lot. Just a personal opinion. :)
    | Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by whchong | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good. It doesn't flow as well as it could, and it could use of few words here in there. Like in the last sentence of the first stanza. Yes, it sounds alright, but it could sound a lot better. It was really good though. It was simple and sweet.
    Keep writing.
    :]
    Katherine
    | Posted on 2008-02-08 00:00:00 | by Katherine_Music | [ Reply to This ]
      What a sweet poetic letter to a love, deep and truthful. I adore this type of write for its unhidden intent and honesty.

    Beautiful.

    Love,
    Me.
    | Posted on 2008-02-08 00:00:00 | by forfila | [ Reply to This ]


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