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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Silencedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: enigmaticone
    ASL Info:    22/m/nh
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 19/41/27
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 599
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 583



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSilencedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sit here looking at a wall
    Wondering what it says
    It sees everything
    Eyes to an open book
    Confused, obscure
    Facing the change
    Shattered voice
    In the mind of the insane
    A meer cackle in the voice of the meek
    A change embued with hate
    Power, and malice
    Contorting the inept with no hesitance
    Steel grip on the heart with no soul
    Caliced as a rock on a snowy field
    White, without life
    Color drained from it veins
    Throbbing left at a slow murmur
    Inside, I have died




    Submitted on 2008-02-08 15:50:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      well this has moments of complete obscurity for me... i guess, for the most part this piece is talking about the wall but i think you bookend the piece talking about yourself and well... id almost write you out of it myself.

    you bring an interesting idea to the piece though... if these walls could talk... its a line/idea that is thrown around a lot but i dont think ive ever actually given it much thought.

    i know if my pillow could talk i would be in trouble and a whole lot of people wouldnt be liking me very much anymore lol.

    what interests me most of all though is that walls are still able to stand and give strength with all these things it has witnessed.

    i think you should pay some attention to punctuation and maybe think about your use of line breaks to make the piece more interesting to read.
    | Posted on 2008-02-09 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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