Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pocahontas & I Reflecteddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: laffeytaffey
    ASL Info:    21/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    1.77 - 21/15/7
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 950
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 650



    Description:
       Umm... It's good. So just read it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPocahontas & I Reflecteddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Soft brown curls
    Toss wildly in the wind
    Smokey blue eyes
    Gaze patiently across the ocean

    And so the girl stands
    Beautiful
    And alone
    Waiting for him

    On the edge of the cliff
    She gazes yearningly
    For her dark-haired young man
    Her love

    Sadness & self-pity overwhelms her
    Some may not see
    But like all diamonds
    There is more than 1 side reflected in the light

    She's been standing there forever
    Or so the story goes
    And with her sad open heart
    She will search an eternity for him




    Submitted on 2008-02-08 20:26:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Duvvy (er... Draumrkopa)... this should have gotten more comments. In the other poem you have up I mentioned putting more facets into the work, more emotion that the one thing...

    Well luv this is ideal, this is what I was referring, and I shoulda looked at this first...

    Good job, the emotion gets across very well and the images are fantastic.

    I suck at giving compliments. So take it as it is :D
    | Posted on 2008-03-23 00:00:00 | by Flynn | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, I think it is really well written. and wihtout any spelllling mistaeks. Tahnk you. Ok, more serious now. I love the imagery you put into this poem. And truthfully, maybe because I'm reading this Nora Roberts book, I thought at the end of the poem, she was going to jump off the cliff (the character's ancestor did that and it was her destiny not to repeat her mistake.)
    And with your problem, doesn't everyone have that problem? I try a hit and miss strategy, it's not working out very well.
    Well, good poem and I hope to read more from you.

    ~*~katara~*~

    And welcome to Elite Skills.
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem it's very well written. I LOVE that unlike most people on this site you used correct punctuation and spelling. That really means alot to me when I read a poem!

    Britt
    | Posted on 2008-02-12 00:00:00 | by CaughtRedhanded | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I'm surprised that even with 12 views (of course including me) no one has commented on this one. It's one of my favorites of yours, and I loved it the first time I read it, and still do. It tells a sad but beautiful story, one that most people can relate to. I love the imagery of the girl standing on the cliff, and of her hair blowing in the wind. It brings to mind images of Pochahantas (think I spelled that wrong...). But those were my two favorite details in this poem. I'm thinking that the line "Sadness & self-pity overwhelms her" should be "Sadness & self-pity overwhelm her", I don't know if it's grammatically correct, but it just sounds right in my head, ya know? Well, that's my bit, and I hope that you post more soon...

    Meg
    | Posted on 2008-02-09 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    157237

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Genesis written by saartha
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    This written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Incubus written by monad
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry