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    dots Submission Name: Pocahontas & I Reflecteddots

    Author: laffeytaffey
    ASL Info:    21/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    1.77 - 21/15/7
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 950
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 650

       Umm... It's good. So just read it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPocahontas & I Reflecteddots

    Soft brown curls
    Toss wildly in the wind
    Smokey blue eyes
    Gaze patiently across the ocean

    And so the girl stands
    And alone
    Waiting for him

    On the edge of the cliff
    She gazes yearningly
    For her dark-haired young man
    Her love

    Sadness & self-pity overwhelms her
    Some may not see
    But like all diamonds
    There is more than 1 side reflected in the light

    She's been standing there forever
    Or so the story goes
    And with her sad open heart
    She will search an eternity for him

    Submitted on 2008-02-08 20:26:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Duvvy (er... Draumrkopa)... this should have gotten more comments. In the other poem you have up I mentioned putting more facets into the work, more emotion that the one thing...

    Well luv this is ideal, this is what I was referring, and I shoulda looked at this first...

    Good job, the emotion gets across very well and the images are fantastic.

    I suck at giving compliments. So take it as it is :D
    | Posted on 2008-03-23 00:00:00 | by Flynn | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, I think it is really well written. and wihtout any spelllling mistaeks. Tahnk you. Ok, more serious now. I love the imagery you put into this poem. And truthfully, maybe because I'm reading this Nora Roberts book, I thought at the end of the poem, she was going to jump off the cliff (the character's ancestor did that and it was her destiny not to repeat her mistake.)
    And with your problem, doesn't everyone have that problem? I try a hit and miss strategy, it's not working out very well.
    Well, good poem and I hope to read more from you.


    And welcome to Elite Skills.
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem it's very well written. I LOVE that unlike most people on this site you used correct punctuation and spelling. That really means alot to me when I read a poem!

    | Posted on 2008-02-12 00:00:00 | by CaughtRedhanded | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I'm surprised that even with 12 views (of course including me) no one has commented on this one. It's one of my favorites of yours, and I loved it the first time I read it, and still do. It tells a sad but beautiful story, one that most people can relate to. I love the imagery of the girl standing on the cliff, and of her hair blowing in the wind. It brings to mind images of Pochahantas (think I spelled that wrong...). But those were my two favorite details in this poem. I'm thinking that the line "Sadness & self-pity overwhelms her" should be "Sadness & self-pity overwhelm her", I don't know if it's grammatically correct, but it just sounds right in my head, ya know? Well, that's my bit, and I hope that you post more soon...

    | Posted on 2008-02-09 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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