Hollow Words by ashik

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Hollow Words dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	ashik
Elite Ratio:	4.65 - 50/37/31
Words:	99

Class/Type:	Poetry/Angry
Total Views:	75
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	656

Description:

Hollow Words dots

-------------------------------------------

You said you know me, can understand.
I met you last night.
You said you’ve been there, know what it’s like
I’ve gone through hell and beyond.

You said you’ve done “bad things”
I’ve never been there.
You say that’s why you know
I proclaim you don’t know.

Your mothers not dying.
Your fathers not in remission,
From a war he never loved.
Your sister doesn’t fight.
Day after day not to take her life.
You’re not stuck in a home
Watching all this,
Hiding from all this.
But you understand,
You know where I’ve been.

Submitted on 2008-02-09 18:19:18 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Nicely done,

I find some of this I can relate too. There is a suggestion that no one understands completely what someone goes through if they don't live their life. The truth of the matter is that there is a mirror of truth to understanding others woes.
It maybe not in the same ways but it is never the less feelings that are universal to everyone.

Your father in remission from something that happened to him in the war is very hard to deal with. Your mother is also in a battle of sorts for yourself and her and I would dare to venture it is hard on you, I would also venture to say that this has also had an effect on your sister as well

I do like this and do understand this very well.
I served 22 years in the Military and the lasting effects are there for my family as well myself to feel. Journey On for the road does not end here. understanding what life gives us is only what we take from it. Living life and wanting to journey on is where the rewards become many.

I hope you find some measure of peace here.

I will read some more of your writes so as to get a better feel.

Respect and Admiration

Clyde
| Posted on 2008-02-17 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
  "You’re not stuck in a home
Watching all this,
Hiding from all this.
But you understand,
You know where I’ve been."

What a wonderful read.
I quoted that last portion
to highlight the peak of the poem.
Stirs up a variety of emotions and thoughts.
Thanks for sharing.

| Posted on 2008-02-10 00:00:00 | by CrypticBard | [ Reply to This ]
  The story comes across really easily and I can see how you are trying to tell the reader everything thats going in. But it seems like you are trying to tell it in as few words as possible. Try to expand on that, use as much space as you nee. Sometimes hort and sweet isnt always the way to go. Thats just my opinion, but good beginning none-the-less :)

-Miranda
| Posted on 2008-02-10 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.