I like this in its simplicity yet thoughtful depths. It somehow seems very masculine in it's forcefulness, yet shows sensitivity with the use of colors contrasted with "crystal clear" which could be attributed to understanding.
This poem reflects the many colours of life without any reference to the shades. It's very straightforward yet you give no details away. First you're standing on the edge, looking back on the times you've stood on each of Wind, Earth, and Water. Then you come to the realisation that you are the Edge. Perhaps the "You my Wind" you refer to is your wife? Together you grew from fire and will be forever together in ashes..?
Then once more you seperate yourself from the Edge to mention "the Forever Stream" stating that life goes on regardless of the many who go over the Edge, and that Wind is the master of itself - maybe or maybe not referring to the "you" you spoke of before. Earth is worthless, but water is everlasting. Then you're the Edge again. And nothing has any personal meaning to you; Earth doesn't matter, you cannot master Wind, Water will forever last, and Fire will turn the Edge into ashes.
That's what I get from this piece, but I may be far off. If so you're not really being truthful with yourself, because the emotion you feel towards the elements is too great for you to deny and say it were all in vain. If not then please enlighten me.
Thoughts to ponder leave my brain working on the details of a comment! I'd say the "stuff" between the lines works well for you in this piece. The brevity of the lines seemed to draw out my thinking and I quite enjoyed the read. Sharon
I must say I quite love the way you've pieced this together... I particularly enjoy the lighthearted feel the rhythm is creating and the fact that it makes you focus on each line intently.
My fav lines are:
"I am the Edge!"
"You my wind".
It conjures up magical images of ancient myth and wraps up the poem in a mystical, almost mysterious cloak.
Submission Name: Vanity Shhh!
