Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Desert Birddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: azurwarrior
    ASL Info:    44/m/SoCal
    Elite Ratio:    5.03 - 86/85/63
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 586
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 679



    Description:
       I'm in kind of a weird mood. Read at your own risk :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDesert Birddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I saw you sitting outside just recently
    Long of beak and bone,
    your wings resemble tusks
    and some neighbor boys with baseball bats came to scare you away.
    but they went running instead.
    Then I noticed you had the largest fangs I'd ever seen.
    There was a little blood and skin left on your teeth.
    You hissed or sizzled or did some desert kind of thing.
    You weren't going anywhere.
    Then some men with gasoline cans smirking doused you
    and set you on fire.
    You probably wondered what you did wrong.
    OK OK I'll go. You frantically tried to escape
    and died striving for freedom.




    Submitted on 2008-02-10 23:00:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      What kind of bird is that?? But this seemed like a dream experience to me and it was easy to just accept and see the strange imagery and events. If this poem has a second meaning, if there is some metaphor and story to get, well I didn't get it but I still love the poem!
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      This made me laugh, I don't know if that was the goal, but that's what happened...I laughed, a lot. Sorry. Haha, beautiful images though.
    | Posted on 2008-02-11 00:00:00 | by Renč Magrete | [ Reply to This ]
      Well yes if weird moods can produce weird images it must be weird. I liked it though. There is something there that pretends reality of circumstance in a `birds eye` view although I have a weird feeling this could be moody you? One should leave that perch when the time is calling one to or? Fine composition. Regards. Joachim
    | Posted on 2008-02-10 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    157365

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Bond written by saartha
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    To written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Incubus written by monad

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry