[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Grave Robberdots

    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 453
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 736


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Grave Robberdots

    That monstrous door, its green and brass-hinged catch
    Made fast by verdigris from years gone by
    I used a bayonet to scrape and pry,
    With strength so long I pried to strain and scratch
    To jar that lock. It seemed Id met my match!
    Cursing, I stabbed and set that brass to fly,
    It smashed against the wall. I heard a cry,
    And watched that antique door give to, unlatch!

    I heard unearthly whimpers and a moan,
    That struck my heart with fear and unknown dread,
    There in that haunted corridor, alone,
    Id stirred a thing uncouth, unclean, undead!
    She walked upright, a sleek young girl to see,
    Came to the door and took control of me.

    Submitted on 2008-02-11 13:48:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I thought it was great,you are good,loved the darkness of the piece.
    my only complaint would be last line seemed forced,it could have used little more,but it was cool,I will definately keep reading
    | Posted on 2008-04-16 00:00:00 | by Diablo Tapitio | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of Poe, which is perhaps the highest compliment I have ever given anyone. Really the old master's touch is woven into this piece.
    Thanks for writing.
    | Posted on 2008-03-20 00:00:00 | by The Conqueror | [ Reply to This ]
      A vile premonition, it seems!

    Dark mood indeed, but tonight...tonight I am in the mood for a dark writing as well. I see you plucked your muses out of the fertile soil and put them to good use. The intriguing and omnipresent linguistic and expressive skills continuously grace your mind and your pen. A very good read with it's own romantically obscured charm.

    Inspiration, beware! I shall come to confiscate :)


    | Posted on 2008-02-11 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      Golly, what a ghoulish stroll this was! Better go back to picking up the girls at the bar during cocktail hour!!

    Seriously, this has your genius for writing ghoulish and ghostly tales, and was a remarkable and delightful (if brrsome; a word that Lou here at the site invented)!

    Another glass of stout to toast the master of ghostly rhyme!
    | Posted on 2008-02-11 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The World written by jjd
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]