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    dots Submission Name: Feardots

    Author: shadow of death
    ASL Info:    17/M/baltimore
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 38/53/34
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 548
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 807


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Everyday I walk out that door I fear for my life
    gangs, gun, kill, drugs, all enter my life when I walk out that door.
    School can be tough too as I fear the preasure and, fear being jugded by others.
    There's a lot of fear in my life, the world but, I can't just ignore it, I have to face it head on.
    The strangth I posess may not change the world but I can set an exmple for others to follow.
    We all have fears nothing can stop that but, along with fears we have dreams too, to be the next rapper, model, singer, actor, but before we can those dreams we must over come ower fears first.
    I know I may hard but soon it will be all worth wild knowing that you over come this fears, because over coming you fears is the greatest sucsess in this world of fear.

    Submitted on 2008-02-11 13:52:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      First of all, I think this has great potential, it shows a lot of emotion, strength and determination.

    There's a few things that distracted me on my first reading though, just minor spelling/grammar and the comma placement. I think that with a solid edit this could be a big motivator to a lot of people who need it. Thank You..
    | Posted on 2008-02-12 00:00:00 | by elitegundam | [ Reply to This ]
      ok umm My thoughts are I feel the same way what people in general don't realize is that you face danger very time you walk out your door some more than others So in my opinion This poem captures Everyday life. ut also school life because everyday people judge you xpect you to change according to their judgement.
    | Posted on 2008-02-11 00:00:00 | by LovesAngel | [ Reply to This ]

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