Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Teacherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 1144



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Teacherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Again

    Cold iron raises it's forts in the sequence
    Of knitting it's own existence into ours.
    My God…we'll all be SLAVES!
    Is it strange that it is will against this misery
    That loses it's, ever smaller, dynasty of heroes?

    It is the commencement of something real…
    Something ultimately raw and achingly gray.
    I'm afraid to say it…but it's the oldest pain -
    Old as the legacy of this solar domain,
    This part of the dream reluctant universe.

    Our lives are no more and no less
    Then the songbirds in the stasis of sickening noise.
    Its lyrics sing our collapse and fragrant undoing
    On the stench of our cowardly blood and, finally,
    Our hearts within it's blade's reach will cease their struggle.

    In the bottom-most heirlooms of human decay
    Our trembling faces will turn into phantoms
    And the bright cascading agony will burden us
    With methane and barb wire
    And none shall say there is no lesson learned.

    Again




    Submitted on 2008-02-11 14:54:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This speaks so resolutely of war and the desperation and hopelessness of soldiers caught up as pawns in war! No bright rays of sunshine there, only gray and desperation!

    Your writes walk the edge of brilliance and genius, and sometimes lead the reader helplessly to where he doesn't want to go! Your writing is unique and brilliant!
    | Posted on 2008-02-17 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I wish I could find the words to describe this poem. It's the perfect description that I've read so far regarding the 'endless waltz' of war. The vocabulary you've used here really adds to the overall effect.
    Honestly, after reading this for the third time, I still have to say that this wasn't written by an amateur, great job!!
    | Posted on 2008-02-12 00:00:00 | by elitegundam | [ Reply to This ]
      A grey poem. Like drops of glacid water falling on forgotten stairways that head towards eternity and beyond.

    And you stay there and write the story of these drops, that keep falling, and falling, and in the infinite silence, there is only this repeating sound...

    "And none shall say there is no lesson learned."
    | Posted on 2008-02-11 00:00:00 | by -Lith-Ium- | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    157399

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry