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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Another Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katlord
    ASL Info:    24/no thanks/my room
    Elite Ratio:    2.17 - 375/199/101
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 957
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1026



    Description:
       Well people seemed to enjoy the last dream enough to comment so I figured that I should write out more of them. This is my most recent one. I'm getting my friends puppy because her parents don't want it so I guess I'm just afraid I'll do a bad job of finishing up on raising her. I don't know any and all comments are apprecaited. ^-^ thanks for your time


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    dotsAnother Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My friend is sitting in a chair. She is happily humming a song that I don't know. The sun is shinning brightly in the sky. The air is clean and warm. She is sitting in the middle of a beautiful meadow filled with wilds flowers. There are birds chirping and bees buzzing about. Her puppy is barking playfully at a bunny. I take a step toward her. All the flowers around me die. Darkness follows me. The meadow goes cold and dark it starts to storm. The birds are gone and so is the bunny. The puppy has grown into a large dog that is snarling at us. She looks at me with tears in her eyes. I don't know whats going on. I try to take her hand and lead away from the darkness and she vanishes. I'm standing alone with the dog, only now we're in a dark, cold room. The rain has gone. The dog comes after me. I'm trying to run but my legs won't work. The dog jumps on me pinning me to the ground. The dog looks at me baring it's teeth You did this




    Submitted on 2008-02-13 09:56:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this would be an amazing metaphor sequence written out and molded into a more poetic shape. i mean a more prose-ish approach is fine but this almost feels like a 123... list of facts or heres what happeneds. kind of blunt. then again i suppose that could have been your intent...?
    not badly written, just so much more could be.
    eh?
    | Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by nudge | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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