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    dots Submission Name: Ma Leçon à Parisdots

    Author: PrincessDoom13
    ASL Info:    19/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    4.15 - 81/81/40
    Words: 373
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 856
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2469

       This a poem/ballad I wrote for my AP English class. Yes, I know it is in French, however, my teacher is also a 4.0 French major. The ballad is more about the disintegration of a relationship that the speaker is witness to.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMa Leçon à Parisdots

    Un jour pluvieux,
    J’ai trouvé un couple.
    Quand je suis allée à Paris,
    J’avais trop de peur !

    La fille élégante,
    Elle l’adorait toujours et
    Avec ses yeux bleus clairs.
    Quand elle lui disait...

    « L’amour c’est pour moi,
    Mon amour de toute ma vie
    Finalement je t’ai trouvé
    Mon chou, mon chéri !»

    Le deuxième jour
    J’ai bien mangé au café
    Et quand, en face de la rue
    Je l’ai regardés...

    Le garçon très beau
    A eu les larmes dans ses yeux
    Comme la belle fille l’a quitté
    Il a été seul.

    «L’amour n’est pas pour nous
    Mon amour de toute ma vie
    Pourquoi tu ne m’adores pas ?
    Mon chou... ma chérie...»

    Le troisième jour
    Je suis parti de Paris
    Et il est tombé des cordes
    Alors j’étais triste

    Quelquefois je pense
    Comment le beau grand amour
    Peut changer si rapidement...
    Mais je n’ai pas peur

    « L’amour n’est pas pour moi
    Mon amour de toute ma vie
    Mais où es-tu mon amour ?
    Mon chou ?... Mon chéri ?...»
    Translation - so you get the general jist.

    My Lesson at Paris

    One rainy day,
    I found a couple.
    When I went to Paris
    I had a lot of fear!

    The elegant girl,
    She always loved him and
    With her clear blue eys
    When she said...

    <<Love is for me,
    My love of my life
    Finally I found you
    My cabbage, my sweetie!>>

    The second day
    I ate well at a cafe
    And then, across the street
    I saw them...

    The very handsome boy
    Had tears in his eyes
    As the girl walked out on him
    And he was alone.

    <<Love is not for us
    My love of my life
    Why do you not love me?
    My cabbage... my sweetie...>>

    The third day
    I left Paris
    And it was raining cats and dogs
    So I was sad.

    From time to time I think
    How the greatest love
    Can change so quickly...
    But I have no fear.

    <<Love is not for me
    My love of my life
    But where are you my love?
    My cabbage?... My sweetie?>>

    Submitted on 2008-02-13 14:08:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was original. Though, I suppose you can't call everything written in another language original for the reason that it's in another language. I don't really know what made it original.

    Maybe it was your word choice. You were really light hearted in your choice of words, and I'm unsure of cabbage is a mistranslation or not, but that kind of played well for the poem.

    You took love into a more comical route with the word cabbage, I think. It wasn't this stress bearing, heart breaking, tear bringing monster people make it out to be.

    Setting it in Paris worked nicely as well, even though that's a really clichè place to fall in love, or learn about it for that matter. Yet for some reason this works.

    Poems work in the weirdest ways and this poem is example of that.
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by Renè Magrete | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the 'my cabbage'. I don't know if that is a popular French phrase, a term of endearment like 'duck' is where I'm from (it sounds so less elegant set against the French, although it never was elegant before...). Either way, it makes the whole thing seem very realistic and human. Mon chou...

    Obviously it is difficult to comment on a translation of a poem because a lot of the poetry is lost when it is translated into this new form. I read the French aloud (as best I could) and much of the original sounds great regardless of meaning. I particularly liked the 'L’amour c’est pour moi' and the alterations of it. It sounds fantastic.

    I find language pieces interesting anyway, but one thing that particularly interests me is that this could be so many things. It really could be about someone in Paris, seeing this relationship fall apart. It can be written from the inside, imagining someone on the outside who is looking in etc.

    Thanks for the read
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]

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