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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: School Bus Seat #7dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Suven7
    ASL Info:    20 female Fla
    Elite Ratio:    7.08 - 478/260/47
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Prose/Angry
    Total Views: 1107
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 996



    Description:
       A perusal of my judgmental nature, my disgust of my school bus driver, my abhorrence for the color pink and my infinite love for those in my life who without fail find new ways I can despise them on a daily basis.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSchool Bus Seat #7dots
    -------------------------------------------


    She sits on the first row
    Of the bus again –
    Right behind the driver
    And right in front of the only
    Mirror in the house.

    Throughout the ride
    She fiddles with her
    Dumb pink purse,
    Fingers her super
    Vibrant lipstick and
    Twists her neck about to
    Check herself out.

    Not soulful, wholesome
    Glances, but ones she wishes
    Guys gave her all the time;
    It looks as if she’s flirting with
    Her own image.

    As more people pour
    In the bus, another girl
    Forces her to give up
    Her throne of vanity.

    She scoots over
    And is stuck behind
    The unreflecting behind of
    The fat bus driver for
    The rest of the ride.

    And I breathe a sigh of relief
    As I ponder the beautiful
    Contents of the empty mirror
    Comfortably, judgmentally
    From seat number seven.




    Submitted on 2008-02-13 16:25:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      This......is.....by ..... far.... the funniest, most entertaining poem I have ever read from you.
    It seems as if you always write about how you hate the world as I always write about my pain and love.

    I couldn't help but "crack up" throghout this entire poem for I seem to know who you're talking about.
    I don't know...I might know her all too well.
    Dude, I'm laughing as I write this so just chill.
    well, I loved it.
    loved it loved it loved it.
    it's incredible!
    For some reason, I just love it.
    The way you put things together just made so much sense and in perspective.
    Haven't you wondered why she likes to sit up front?
    maybe she just wants to get out of the bus as soon as she possibly can and maybe look at herself on the mirror here and there to appreciate what God has given her?

    Alright, you're probably right, she likes herself too much.
    But now that she can't wear make-up anymore, she only looks becaue she's self conscious and is afraid of what people might think.
    It's not really about the attention or wanting to be noticed, it's more like a reassurance of some kind since she's not sure of her beauty anymore.
    Maybe to make herself feel better....but I don't know....I''m not the expert here.

    I like the whole "flirting with her image" picture.
    It's the perfect phrase to describe someone who is obsessed with themself and can't seem to get enough of themself.

    I also like the way you're so bothered by her on the mirror that when she's forced to scoot over, it's like the best part of your day....like you won or something.
    hahah

    I just don't understand why you don't sit at seat number 20 or frikin 60 so you don't have to look at her all that time you know...I mean, you could change your everday routine...but still, I think that you like watching her, cuz it makes you feel sure of yourself that she's not content and always has to look at herself, while you're the exact opposite who doesn't need any reassurance at all because you have a boyfriend who will love you even if you shave all your hair off.
    I don't knw...I'm just spit balling here.
    hahahah
    jk,
    dude, I love this poem...very thought provoking and so true.

    Great Frikin Write!

    --Fearless
    | Posted on 2008-04-02 00:00:00 | by Fearless | [ Reply to This ]
      this made me chuckle.. i was a school bus driver for a few years, and i really enjoyed it. i wasn't a mean bus driver. in fact, i was probably too lenient... but i always thought it should be a pleasant experience for the kids. i did "reserve" the front seats for discipline problems though...

    anyway, i did feel some sympathy for the girl with the pink purse. she sounds lonely and lost. so, i suppose there is judgment in your description of her, not knowing her at all. i think we all tend to judge people in some ways without realizing it. not one of our more positive human qualities.

    thanks for the trip down memory lane! as for the big mirror, it used to crack me up when i saw someone doing something they shouldn't in the back of the bus and they'd say, "i didn't do it!" well, that big ole mirror wasn't there for just decoration!

    thanks for the read!

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I dislike all comments before me except for 'Olah89'. Haha. The other ones just BOTHERED me. :-0

    I kind of felt like the number seven thing was not really the focus of the poem, but a contributing detail. Like when I read it I thought, "Oh, 7! Symbolismmm!!! 7 days in a week, 7 is a prominent number in the bible... etc." Anyways, it's not what I personally focused on.

    I love all of the characters in here. They all remind me of myself, I am ashamed to admit. I scorn other people for being narcissistic, but I can be incredibly vain at times as well.

    It's really great the way you set this poem up—you make me see this girl trying wayyyy too hard, and then it makes me happy to see her have to change seats. Nah nah!

    'Her throne of vanity.' Ha, ha! Good one... and I also like the line about her flirting with herself. She sounds pretty in love with herself... ;-P

    -Lucy

    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
      do you realise shes on a bus but the mirrors in a house? i know that seems kinda pedantic but it doesnt really work [and only mirror in the house seems a little... cliché or grandma-like to say i think...]

    seat number seven.
    i dont know if seats in your country have numbers on them but in my country they dont and i think that would add even more interestingness to the seat seven thing.
    see... by giving your seat a number it seems to give it some level of importance. as if everyone on the bus KNOWS what seat 7 is about/represents...
    and it could represent a lot of things depending on the person sitting in it...
    maybe its like a ranking... maybe everyone secretly wants to mirror seat and you are only 7 seats from it... who knows... it just interests me

    as for the pretty pink flirting with herself girl... she makes me sad... i dont know... this seems like the perfect time to post such an idea considering its valentines day here today [or tomorrow for america etc]... girls wanting to be noticed by boys so badly... i dont know... its sad.

    its kinda funny that she ends up staring at the backside of the busdriver though i hope thats not how she sees herself...
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the idea of her 'flirting with her own image'. We've all known these people from time to time. The girl who wears far too much make-up and can't wait to lather on some more...

    But we also all know the angry girl watching the vain girl, and it comes full circle ;)

    I like the use of 'seat number seven'. It adds some kind of finality to everything that I'm finding it hard to explain.

    What comes out of this though is your love to over-analyse - something I am more than guilty of - and (as you say yourself in the description) your love and need to have these people around, because your identity is wrapped up in theirs.

    Very interesting. Thanks for the read
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha. I knew what this might be about before I read it. I was right. Haha.

    Anyway - I enjoyed reading the poem as it was quite different form the others you typically write. A bit shorter in stanza length and a different style of rhyming. I thought the play on words in the first stanza was creative as well. Did you notice the fact she sits in the front row also denotes her attention seeking nature? I just found that interesting - all of the ways you go about attempting to portray her narcissist personality.
    Hrm...things that could improve...I would probably say that the beginning structure of placing 2 lines from one scene and the following from another scene (If by mirror you meant the one in your bathroom) and alternating it that way throughout. The title of the work suggests your caring and protective nature. You sit 7 or rather 4 rows back and watch from a distance rather than sitting directly behind her like someone who dispises someone might. I'm not sure if that makes sense. I almost think a cooler name for this piece would be "Empty mirror" or something like that although that might not denote the same viewpoint you were going for. "Unreflecting behind" was a humorous touch as well :)
    -Arrogant, pretty people ultimately decide their fate of never being happy. How can you be happy when your greatest concern is "how badly he'll want me?"
    Thank you for the interesting read. I could feel your rage and frustration as soon as the second stanza. Venting in poetry can have good outcomes :)

    I love you,
    Andy - Olah
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by Olah89 | [ Reply to This ]


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