A Head Full Of Hair by LucyDiamond

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Submission Name: A Head Full Of Hair dots

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Author:	LucyDiamond
ASL Info:	17/F/Sky
Elite Ratio:	3.95 - 365/561/240
Words:	82

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	115
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	489

Description:
I get a kick out of writing this stuff.

A Head Full Of Hair dots

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Comb me out of the time
that wraps itself around
your brilliant head of hair.

I want to run my starved hands
through the centuries
and keep you for myself,
holding your cheek bones in my palms
and seeing eternity
kaeleidescoped in your invisible eyes.

Let me memorize
the time etched in your face.
Let me be what’s stopping you

from leaving this place.

Submitted on 2008-02-14 02:15:41 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
  'Let me be what's stopping you/from leaving this place'

Let me just take a moment to smile at that

Overall I enjoyed the poem but it was those last lines that made it stand out. I'll say them again in my head...

They're simple. Deceptively so. There's nothing overly poetic in them and there stems the beauty. It's so human and earthy that it has to be real.

There is so much possessiveness there as I read it a second time. It may not seem it to you but there are slightly dark undertones of obsession, possession, infatuation etc. They're subtle but they're planted, firmly.

I'm unsure about 'kaleidoscoped in your invisible eyes'. It felt flowery and romantic for romance sake. I may not have felt that way if 'kaleidoscope' wasn't there, but it nagged at me and pulled me in, making me analyse the lines around it.

And now I'll stop over-analysing
I liked it.
| Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]
  ooo... this is so delicious.
i couldnt work out whether this was a love letter to a person or the entire cosmos

comb me out of the time
hands through the centuries

theres some ethereal imagery throughout this piece that puts a whole new light/spin/focus on the words but the end... the end narrows the spot to a sharply focussed being which is perfect... the ending pronounces every feature of this person and the sigh at the end.. almost of contentment... from leaving this place... almost as if when you say 'stopping you' the person comes in with a "shut up... you had me at hello" jerry mcguire kinda moment.

i dont think im making any sense at all.

i have no idea...this is most beautiful and gentle... i adore it
| Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  oh my. gorgeous. such love. and you've managed to write a love poem which doesn't say love but hints at it through idiosyncratic imagery which makes me think... and picture it all.

adorable. and a fave.
~
| Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by silent strings | [ Reply to This ]

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