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    dots Submission Name: only half my heart is yours.dots

    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    23/MALE/UK
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 49/101/59
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 882

       this is my latest poem

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    dotsonly half my heart is yours.dots

    i will always be yours
    my dear, my dear
    but their is somthing you must know.

    yes, i love you
    but the thing i must say is
    only half my heart is yours.

    it may come as a shock
    i know, i know
    but let me explain my love.

    you know the girl
    from years ago
    that sacrificed her life for her brother
    i lied, i lied

    she didn't have a brother
    she saved me, yes me

    i loved her for that
    my dear, my dear
    and i said this to her

    stay in heaven
    my saviour, my hero
    i will come to you when i have gone
    i promise

    but till that day
    you should know
    only half my heart is yours.

    Submitted on 2008-02-14 03:35:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like it. It's a sad but sweet little tale. It's beautifully and I like the repitions of the words My dear and I lied. It gives it a very personal and toucing feel to it. Keep up the good work and stay in touch.
    | Posted on 2008-02-15 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This is really great. The repitition of "my dear, my dear" sort of adds a sense of comfort. It's sad yet still sweet and you delivered it gently.
    | Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by Jeka | [ Reply to This ]
      whoah. that is great emotion and wow... i really liked the way you wrote this. it's great! it's kind of sad, but well written!... and you spelled "their" wrong, it should be "there"
    | Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by Kaygrl | [ Reply to This ]

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