Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: only half my heart is yours.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    16/male/uk
    Elite Ratio:    1.73 - 45/91/55
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 78
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 882



    Description:
       this is my latest poem


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsonly half my heart is yours.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    i will always be yours
    
my dear, my dear
    
but their is somthing you must know.
    

    
yes, i love you
    
but the thing i must say is
    
only half my heart is yours.
    

    
it may come as a shock
    
i know, i know
    
but let me explain my love.
    

    
you know the girl
    
from years ago
    
that sacrificed her life for her brother
    
well......
    
i lied, i lied
    

    
she didn't have a brother 
    
she saved me, yes me
    

    
i loved her for that 
    
my dear, my dear
    
and i said this to her
    

    
stay in heaven
    
my saviour, my hero
    
i will come to you when i have gone
    
i promise
    

    
but till that day
    
you should know
    
only half my heart is yours.




    Submitted on 2008-02-14 03:35:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it. It's a sad but sweet little tale. It's beautifully and I like the repitions of the words My dear and I lied. It gives it a very personal and toucing feel to it. Keep up the good work and stay in touch.
    | Posted on 2008-02-15 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This is really great. The repitition of "my dear, my dear" sort of adds a sense of comfort. It's sad yet still sweet and you delivered it gently.
    | Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by Jeka | [ Reply to This ]
      whoah. that is great emotion and wow... i really liked the way you wrote this. it's great! it's kind of sad, but well written!... and you spelled "their" wrong, it should be "there"
    | Posted on 2008-02-14 00:00:00 | by Kaygrl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    157551



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry