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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: on aging gracefully.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: freeradical
    ASL Info:    22/feline/london
    Elite Ratio:    5.26 - 311/405/63
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1285
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 909



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotson aging gracefully.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    i sometimes think
    you give me a reason
    to live
    just so you
    can kill me.

    i think for myself
    and act
    on my own behalf
    but only
    when your back is turned
    and it doesn't really matter
    anyway.

    i fucking miss you,
    but i'm glad i'm here
    at this point.

    this miserable
    goddamn bottom
    of
    the
    barrel
    no where else
    but up
    unless
    we get
    a shovel
    six (million) feet
    under.

    kissing toads
    is getting old
    and so am i.

    gotta snare one,
    before the tits sag,
    the lines deepen
    the cynicism drowns.

    only the stupid could love me.

    it has agreeable symmetry
    for it seems
    i only love
    the stupid.




    Submitted on 2008-02-14 22:52:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      only the stupid could love me.

    i read this and i was about to kick your ass girlee! give you some huge lecture about how gorgeous you are and boys would be stupid NOT to love you and then i read this:

    it has agreeable symmetry
    for it seems
    i only love
    the stupid

    and took back my lecture before i'd issued it completely understanding where you were coming from.

    especially after reading:

    i [censored] miss you,
    but i'm glad i'm here
    at this point.

    knowing that you do miss him and that you devoted so much of your life to loving him and for what.
    but im proud of you for liking being at the bottom of the barrel. i know thats an odd thing to be proud of you for [but hey! its an odd thing to be glad about too ] because it shows me efforts of moving on... even in those miss you moments.

    kissing toads is over rated.
    they tell you they'll turn into princes but well... they turn into toads. they always seem slimier [sp?] after youve kissed them too...



    this miserable
    goddamn bottom
    of
    the
    barrel
    no where else
    but up
    unless
    we get
    a shovel
    six (million) feet
    under.

    there is nothing gracefull about bottom of the barrel shovelling [censored] uphill... nothing graceful at all...

    sometimes graceful isnt all its cracked up to be anyways...
    | Posted on 2008-03-09 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely. In a dreadful sort of way. The sense of deep sorrow is swell. It was not those things that made me sad when reading it. It's that it's about nobody. Or more acurately, it's about you. To pine away for somebody, anybody, before tits sag is a tragic thing. Not that connection isn't important. It just seems being alone is deplorable. To me, that's the darkest aspect of this piece.

    If this is fact, it's well done. Pitiful, but what sorrow isn't? If it's fiction, it's extremely well done. The best fiction seems real to the reader. Either way. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Kissing toads... heh.
    | Posted on 2008-02-21 00:00:00 | by Mr_Eff | [ Reply to This ]
      kissing toads
    is getting old
    and so am i.


    oh, how i feel this. but, just wait until you're 25... or 30... or... gasp... 40... i dread the day.

    i love the stupid too, the mundane, the filthy and the disagreebleness of people and life. maybe i'm conflicted, who knows. who cares. you probably certainly don't.

    but... thought i'd leave my thoughts on your page regardless.
    ~
    | Posted on 2008-02-17 00:00:00 | by silent strings | [ Reply to This ]
      HA HA! Sorry...but the stupid/love me lines made me laugh.

    AHEM...now...lemme see

    I guess I am listening to Limp Bizkits song Lonely World and it just fits this poem.

    Nuttin else to say except that I think England is one of those countries that knows how to be happy. For some reason England comes off as one of those countries that has the right to say "Piss off world...been there, done that."

    No other country can say that, you know.

    | Posted on 2008-02-15 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, at least I get the sarcasm in the title. I usually try to overlook the depression in pieces to get to the linguistic format of them, but in this case you just brought me down, woman. For God's sake, you're 22! It's hardy like you could be going through a mid-life crisis, you're not even near the middle of your life.

    How about you think about relationships like this website? Yeah, Elite Skills. Let's be honest, you go through the posts, surfing through theme after theme, character after character, experience after experience. And you comment. You give your thoughts, your advice, even your personal scenes that might relate. And log-in after log-in, you feel the magic of the poetry you once loved fading away. And that's when you come across The Piece. The perfect piece that means so much to you in a world where you thought so little means anything. And it hits your core, and you favour it. That gives you hope. But then, sometimes, you come across a piece that leads to other pieces, and you realise you don't just love the poem, you love the poet. And that, my friend, is what relationships are all about.

    So get out of the barrel, and capitalise your "I"s, because missy: you deserve it.

    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2008-02-15 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]


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    157599

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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