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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Starting and Enddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: StylerDen
    ASL Info:    29/Male/Malaysia
    Elite Ratio:    2.98 - 38/59/51
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 755
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 326



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Starting and Enddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I started this more than a year ago,
    Now it lies in despair
    I remembered when i use to hope,
    For something that was never there.

    Well it started more than a year ago,
    And now im just gonna leave it here :)
    Cause what seems right before,
    Is now an empty place of fear...




    Submitted on 2008-02-15 04:55:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Yes I agree with madhat, your poems are from the heart also, I like them, but add a little more rhyme to your work, you have the talent go for it.

    Jamar2
    | Posted on 2008-10-09 00:00:00 | by jamar2 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, very good poem . . . I think that you are talking about a relationship, I do not know if I am right but that is how I feel it.
    You added a little rhyme and it was good, the first lines of the first and second stanzas are very similar it would be better if you replaced them with a two-times-repeated refrain. In the last line "Is now an empty place of fear" this metaphor is not clear to me; I think that you can improve it.
    Medhat
    | Posted on 2008-02-15 00:00:00 | by Duke Medhat | [ Reply to This ]


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