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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Circlesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isis_lenore
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 334/124/45
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 92
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701



    Description:
       I was experimenting with a form called mirroring... Only one of the words I choose is not a perfect rhyme word so... it kind of messes it up I think.


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    dotsCirclesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Saying only things that scratch
    The surface, like how was your day?
    Why do we keep going in circles?
    Circling around, what we intend to say.

    We throw barbed words,
    like sharp pointed icicles,
    Circling around what we intend to say-
    Why do we keep going in circles?

    Scratching at an underlying feeling,
    Trying not to portray, a lovers' decay.
    Why do we keep going in circles?
    Circling around, what we intend to say?

    We gain no ground, saying nothing,
    This has been nothing, if not a great debacle,
    Circling around what we intend to say-
    Why do we keep going in circles?




    Submitted on 2008-02-16 09:12:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well.....it was.....terrible. j/k i found it truthfull and your words entracing as i read them it reminds me of everyday life that never seems to change or how in ruth a lot of people never really express themnselves
    | Posted on 2008-03-13 00:00:00 | by LovesAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      Great write. I like the way you say so much and put across your point, the way you switched the last two lines each time. Your words are so true also. thank you for sharing, Jerilynn
    | Posted on 2008-02-16 00:00:00 | by Jerilynn | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm i like that mirroring form, it doesn't distract (or at least your writing style)

    it surely shows relationships like that though, good job
    | Posted on 2008-02-16 00:00:00 | by andnow | [ Reply to This ]
      ive never actually read someones work who was doing the mirroring form so i cant say goodjob for something im not to sure about. but besides that i liked your idea about the circles. goodwrite
    | Posted on 2008-02-16 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      This seems like a difficult form, and I think you have done well to maintain a story and rhyme scheme, and also stay with the mirroring form.
    | Posted on 2008-02-16 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]



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