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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Happydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jennah
    ASL Info:    19/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 101/73/22
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 582
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 594



    Description:
       I wrote this in my IB class after a conversation with a friend.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHappydots
    -------------------------------------------


    You tell me that you're happy,
    happier than ever.
    By the smile in your voice,
    I know you think you're clever.

    You try so very hard
    to convince us that its true,
    much like the way
    you try to cover up the bruise.

    If I asked, would you tell me?
    Would you open up your heart?
    You're my friend, I want to know,
    even the worst part.

    Please don't feel you have to hide
    or protect me from the truth.
    I promise I can handle it
    and still be there for you.




    Submitted on 2008-02-16 13:25:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i love it. its so good. keep writing. i know a lot of people will relate. i did. i want to read more by you soon.

    "You tell me that you're happy,
    happier than ever.
    By the smile in your voice,
    I know you think you're clever.

    You try so very hard
    to convince us that its true,
    much like the way
    you try to cover up the bruise."


    it reminds me of myself so much. fake smiles and laughing about it to everyone when they tell me im doing so good. but its like

    "much like the way
    you try to cover up the bruise."

    its just a mask, you know??


    "If I asked, would you tell me?
    Would you open up your heart?
    You're my friend, I want to know,
    even the worst part.

    Please don't feel you have to hide
    or protect me from the truth.
    I promise I can handle it
    and still be there for you."

    this part seems like 'love'?? i dont know what love is but its like you want to know so much, especially the truth. its hard. keep posting, please. i really do like your work. i hope you find the answers your looking for.




    tina
    | Posted on 2008-02-19 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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