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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She'll Let Herself Diedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BCute
    ASL Info:    23/F/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 1295/1416/362
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Betrayal
    Total Views: 90
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 633



    Description:
       Eh......


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    dotsShe'll Let Herself Diedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Breathing in a moment,
    or a few,
    That seem perfect - almost,
    until he blinks.

    Not realizing trust was broken,
    shatters dry eyes.
    Into tears glistening down a face,
    mapping the hurt.

    Wasn't aware she was an obligation,
    someone he had to talk to,
    Some days he wouldn't want to,
    she can't read his mind.

    He will be over it in a few days,
    she'll let it slide by,
    Not demanding an I'm sorry,
    to make the fears disappear.

    She'll continue to let herself die.




    Submitted on 2008-02-17 11:31:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I just got done writing something similar to the broken heart theme, except mine got a little discriptive, maybe a little too discriptive. Over all, I liked it. It was a pretty good poem. One problem I have for it is it takes a while to understand what it is your trying to say in the poem. I didn't really understand the purpose of the poem until I got really close to the end. In my opinion, I think the only thing you should change is the beginning. If you could make it more clear that you were being betrayed in the beginning of the poem, it would be a little easier to understand. Besides that, nice write.

    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2008-02-19 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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