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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You Make My Heart Singdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Piper
    ASL Info:    17/ Female/ Europe
    Elite Ratio:    2.78 - 31/41/27
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 109
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 808



    Description:
       :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Make My Heart Singdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Well this might seem a little odd,
    And this might sound kind of strange,
    But the way I feel whenever you're near,
    Seems like will never change.

    What is it that makes so easy
    To be myself when you're around,
    I feel like I'm walking on air,
    And will never hit the ground.

    There is just one problem,
    Our relationship cannot survive,
    Because when I turn seventeen,
    You'll be twenty-five.

    That still isn't a reason,
    It doesn't give me the right to quit
    I used to be a quitter,
    But now I'm done with it.

    You know that one way
    Or another, you will be mine
    So just shut up and deal with it,
    And it will all be fine.




    Submitted on 2008-02-18 08:04:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great poem! So cheerful and uplifiting. Lovely. Really lovely. I hope your feelings don't change that soon. ;)

    -Allison
    | Posted on 2008-05-24 00:00:00 | by revol | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem has a very subtle and smooth feeling to it, at the start then goes towards a darker turn towards the end showing your emotions conflicting it rare that you read poems like that today. Very much awesome poem though.
    | Posted on 2008-02-19 00:00:00 | by Mirado | [ Reply to This ]
      My, you are lovely!

    This has a dynamite title, that a reader just can't resist. Your poem has a good structure, good rhyme scheme, and an interesting story.

    This describes love perfectly:

    "I feel like I'm walking on air,
    And will never hit the ground."

    You have a developing talent and write with confidence and a developing skill that we all want to see more of!!

    If I had any criticism, it would be that the marvelous title suggests a more intimate and serious story; a more lighthearted title might be in order, such as "Whenever You're Near"!

    | Posted on 2008-02-18 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]



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